Dear Beth,
Thank you for the poinsettias and late-season pears you kindly sent over to me. And what a lovely basket they were delivered in!
I've become a contributor at 'adopt a liberal-arts graduate,' a friend's blog. The first entry is here. The focus is a recent paper by Mark E Davis and others on using targeting siRNA to turn off cancer genes, but it touches on Mormonism, Hang 'Em High, and Harry Potter.
Hope to see you at Michelle's haunted house this weekend!
Magnus III
Friday, October 29, 2010
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
nba blog
Hello:
I'm interested in joining your NBA blog, but I haven't written about basketball before (although I have been a fan for years). Can I submit a writing sample on another topic?
Cheers, Beth
----
Beth,
The short answer is YES. Send us whatever you think exemplifies your ability and style as a writer.
Our Senior Staff will evaluate your submission and we'll take it from there.
Thanks for your interest in the L__ P___.
All the best,
G_______
Managing Editor
L__ P____ N___
www.__________.com
----
Sorry it took w while to get back to you -- I decided, on a lark, to redeem my vacation days and tour the country. Here is an example of the kind of thing I like to write:
Magnets by Magnus Spurlock
Over the last month, I investigated the L_____ V_____’s most electric and polarizing issue: magnets. To illustrate this subject’s divisive nature, I offer three statements, two of which are true. First, scientific studies show that magnets alter our moral judgment. Second, modern-day witchdoctors provide contemporary gladiators with magnetic charms to enhance their physical prowess and regenerate their bodies. Third, a reclusive billionaire scheming in the heart of the L_____ V_____ has elite scientists working in shifts to build genetically cloned superhuman warriors wearing exoweaponsuits based on magnetic monopoles. Despite the widespread implications of electromagnetism, a phenomenon used to write the Dead Sea Scrolls and perform rites at Stonehenge, the government places few regulations on magnetic disturbances.
This year, researchers galvanized the blogosphere with a research paper about magnets and morality in ‘Proceedings of the National Academy of Science.’ In their study, they showed that blasts of magnetism could change the way humans perceive fault in ethical dilemmas. Lead researcher Liane Young understates the findings’ importance: “to apply a magnetic field to a specific brain region and change people's moral judgments is really astonishing.” To test this finding, I purchased magnets for a dozen local choir women and waited two weeks to survey them. Nine protested the content of my survey and one even called me a “lunatic and pervert.” In indirect contrast to the results of Young’s study, none of the three responders reported prostituting themselves to finance a drug habit or participating in human trafficking.
P_________ baseball star C___ H_____ exploits the magick of magnetism to boost his ability to compete at the velocity-dependent Major-League level. Championed by pseudoscientists and alternative-medicine enthusiasts but universally derided as hogwash and snake oil by professional physicists, magnetic charms and adornments can be purchased online or in specialty stores but are not endorsed by the Food and Drug Administration. To test their efficacy on a pro-sports playing field, I purchased a seventy-dollar necklace and headed to an E_____ game. Unfortunately, I lack pro-athlete status and was refused a magnetic moment on the field. Nevertheless, I stripped naked and festooned myself with magnetic necklace and charms. However I was intercepted prior to making it onto the field, leaving me unable to test whether my magnetized self could level a pro football star with a punishing shoulder check.
Space considerations force this awkward transition to considering the ludicrous Maxwellian superwarrior program mentioned in the introductory paragraph, which I thought up after bombing flaming shots of Absinthe into energy drinks and will now discuss as fact. An army of clones being made in abandoned steel factory will wear suits powered by magnetic monopoles, a fanciful form of magnetic charge. This hundred-million-dollar program seeks to defend the Constitution of the United States from armies of the French undead, possibly led by a Napoleon-Bonaparte zombie. Should these frog-, slug-, and flesh-munching assailants emerge on Atlantic beaches, ferrobionic commando-clones wielding the might of magnetism would defend our sacred document.
Earth itself has oodles of Gausses and Teslas of magnetic field, and I verified with a compass that this magnetic field currently extends to the L_____ V_____. Diligent citizens can measure local magnetic-field fluctuations with Hall-effect sensors, which could be included in bomb-shelter kits and eschatological investigations. According to the canon of physics literature, any movement of electric charge creates the infamous magnetic field. But scientists espousing relativity argue that static electric charges move in another reference frame, creating a magnetic field by doing so. Of course, local government could tax such reference frames and even the motion of electric charge, capitalizing on magnetism to alleviate the burden of taxation.
----
Beth,
You're more than welcome to submit an original work with subject matter relating to the NBA anytime.
We all like Some Senseless Gibberish. It's like Don Novello's The Lazlo Letters for the internet age. Especially using Craiglist as the fishing hole. Quite brilliant. The Foreigner reference to the group looking for a church? Dead on.
All the best,
G_______
Managing Editor
L__ P____ N___
www.__________.com
~~~
From SSG traffic sources for last two hours:
From Google:
----
G______,
Wow, that's funny. Thanks for the review.
I intend to submit something about the NBA for your site.
Cheers,
Beth
I'm interested in joining your NBA blog, but I haven't written about basketball before (although I have been a fan for years). Can I submit a writing sample on another topic?
Cheers, Beth
----
Beth,
The short answer is YES. Send us whatever you think exemplifies your ability and style as a writer.
Our Senior Staff will evaluate your submission and we'll take it from there.
Thanks for your interest in the L__ P___.
All the best,
G_______
Managing Editor
L__ P____ N___
www.__________.com
----
Sorry it took w while to get back to you -- I decided, on a lark, to redeem my vacation days and tour the country. Here is an example of the kind of thing I like to write:
Magnets by Magnus Spurlock
Over the last month, I investigated the L_____ V_____’s most electric and polarizing issue: magnets. To illustrate this subject’s divisive nature, I offer three statements, two of which are true. First, scientific studies show that magnets alter our moral judgment. Second, modern-day witchdoctors provide contemporary gladiators with magnetic charms to enhance their physical prowess and regenerate their bodies. Third, a reclusive billionaire scheming in the heart of the L_____ V_____ has elite scientists working in shifts to build genetically cloned superhuman warriors wearing exoweaponsuits based on magnetic monopoles. Despite the widespread implications of electromagnetism, a phenomenon used to write the Dead Sea Scrolls and perform rites at Stonehenge, the government places few regulations on magnetic disturbances.
This year, researchers galvanized the blogosphere with a research paper about magnets and morality in ‘Proceedings of the National Academy of Science.’ In their study, they showed that blasts of magnetism could change the way humans perceive fault in ethical dilemmas. Lead researcher Liane Young understates the findings’ importance: “to apply a magnetic field to a specific brain region and change people's moral judgments is really astonishing.” To test this finding, I purchased magnets for a dozen local choir women and waited two weeks to survey them. Nine protested the content of my survey and one even called me a “lunatic and pervert.” In indirect contrast to the results of Young’s study, none of the three responders reported prostituting themselves to finance a drug habit or participating in human trafficking.
P_________ baseball star C___ H_____ exploits the magick of magnetism to boost his ability to compete at the velocity-dependent Major-League level. Championed by pseudoscientists and alternative-medicine enthusiasts but universally derided as hogwash and snake oil by professional physicists, magnetic charms and adornments can be purchased online or in specialty stores but are not endorsed by the Food and Drug Administration. To test their efficacy on a pro-sports playing field, I purchased a seventy-dollar necklace and headed to an E_____ game. Unfortunately, I lack pro-athlete status and was refused a magnetic moment on the field. Nevertheless, I stripped naked and festooned myself with magnetic necklace and charms. However I was intercepted prior to making it onto the field, leaving me unable to test whether my magnetized self could level a pro football star with a punishing shoulder check.
Space considerations force this awkward transition to considering the ludicrous Maxwellian superwarrior program mentioned in the introductory paragraph, which I thought up after bombing flaming shots of Absinthe into energy drinks and will now discuss as fact. An army of clones being made in abandoned steel factory will wear suits powered by magnetic monopoles, a fanciful form of magnetic charge. This hundred-million-dollar program seeks to defend the Constitution of the United States from armies of the French undead, possibly led by a Napoleon-Bonaparte zombie. Should these frog-, slug-, and flesh-munching assailants emerge on Atlantic beaches, ferrobionic commando-clones wielding the might of magnetism would defend our sacred document.
Earth itself has oodles of Gausses and Teslas of magnetic field, and I verified with a compass that this magnetic field currently extends to the L_____ V_____. Diligent citizens can measure local magnetic-field fluctuations with Hall-effect sensors, which could be included in bomb-shelter kits and eschatological investigations. According to the canon of physics literature, any movement of electric charge creates the infamous magnetic field. But scientists espousing relativity argue that static electric charges move in another reference frame, creating a magnetic field by doing so. Of course, local government could tax such reference frames and even the motion of electric charge, capitalizing on magnetism to alleviate the burden of taxation.
----
Beth,
You're more than welcome to submit an original work with subject matter relating to the NBA anytime.
We all like Some Senseless Gibberish. It's like Don Novello's The Lazlo Letters for the internet age. Especially using Craiglist as the fishing hole. Quite brilliant. The Foreigner reference to the group looking for a church? Dead on.
All the best,
G_______
Managing Editor
L__ P____ N___
www.__________.com
~~~
From SSG traffic sources for last two hours:
From Google:
----
G______,
Wow, that's funny. Thanks for the review.
I intend to submit something about the NBA for your site.
Cheers,
Beth
has-been stripper
craigslist ad asking for stripper at 12 am for a bachelor party
----
Hello:
I'm interested in the gig but it is a bit unusual to have a stripper over at noon. Would the show be outside? How many people would be there?
Beth
----
well, thanks for replying, you were the only response.
too bad it was for last week.
----
I can have been there last week. Should I let you know how much I charge?
----
sure...
picture as well?
----
First can you tell me how you think it went?
----
the party? it went fine, woulda been better if we had a dancer..
----
If I'm going to get paid for this job, I'm going to have to have been there.
----
well, since you haven't been here, I really can't pay you
----
I haven't have been there last week... yet.
----
No, not yet, but let me know.
----
Actually I take cash before I will have been somewhere.
----
Well, no wonder you weren't here, I haven't paid you yet..
----
But once I get the cash I will have had been there.
----
right..well i guess you need to get paid
----
Well I have needed to will have been.
----
let me know when you are going to pick up your money..
----
When should I pick it up?
----
i will be here all day yesterday
*
and today...
if you got the time....
----
I assume that I told you what my rates were?
----
no you haven't
----
By the time you have paid I will have.
----
this banter makes me feel like you may know me...
----
Maybe in some temporal context I will have had.
----
well if you get around to being corporeal, lemme know..
----
You mean you will want to have been desiring punishment?
----
no, i meant in the physical sense of you being here..
----
You will want me to have been on my way over there?
----
well, sure has been fun talking in spirals with/at you, always nice to find an intruiging mind. i will be married in about 46 hrs or so, then off on the honeymoon for a week.... so perhaps if you can recall be in touch..
----
(week passes)
...
Did the marriage thing work out?
----
so far...
----
Will it always have been?
----
probably was.
----
Will you have let me known?
----
Hello:
I'm interested in the gig but it is a bit unusual to have a stripper over at noon. Would the show be outside? How many people would be there?
Beth
----
well, thanks for replying, you were the only response.
too bad it was for last week.
----
I can have been there last week. Should I let you know how much I charge?
----
sure...
picture as well?
----
First can you tell me how you think it went?
----
the party? it went fine, woulda been better if we had a dancer..
----
If I'm going to get paid for this job, I'm going to have to have been there.
----
well, since you haven't been here, I really can't pay you
----
I haven't have been there last week... yet.
----
No, not yet, but let me know.
----
Actually I take cash before I will have been somewhere.
----
Well, no wonder you weren't here, I haven't paid you yet..
----
But once I get the cash I will have had been there.
----
right..well i guess you need to get paid
----
Well I have needed to will have been.
----
let me know when you are going to pick up your money..
----
When should I pick it up?
----
i will be here all day yesterday
*
and today...
if you got the time....
----
I assume that I told you what my rates were?
----
no you haven't
----
By the time you have paid I will have.
----
this banter makes me feel like you may know me...
----
Maybe in some temporal context I will have had.
----
well if you get around to being corporeal, lemme know..
----
You mean you will want to have been desiring punishment?
----
no, i meant in the physical sense of you being here..
----
You will want me to have been on my way over there?
----
well, sure has been fun talking in spirals with/at you, always nice to find an intruiging mind. i will be married in about 46 hrs or so, then off on the honeymoon for a week.... so perhaps if you can recall be in touch..
----
(week passes)
...
Did the marriage thing work out?
----
so far...
----
Will it always have been?
----
probably was.
----
Will you have let me known?
the will, part 2a
Hi Beth,
I have not heard back from you??
Just wondering how you made out with the maze of questions!!
Let me know,
A____
----
Well the ordeal ceased to be a major headache. But it did so by becoming a nightmare. It turned out that dead salmon fail to swim upstream. Since we uncovered this crucial piece of information, we've discovered the terrifying structure of the will.
----
So after all of that is he paying you anything???
That would stink to do all of that & get nothing!!
Yes, a dead salmon will not go upstream....that's for sure - kind of corny don't you think that he would have that in there?
----
We will get the estate in pieces. However, the deceased left nine heirs and an estate divided pizza-like into pieces of eight. The conditions for dispersal show the dead magnate's insanity. His last will and testament decrees that the death of an heir gives a piece of the estate to the living heir who happens to be closest geographically to the death. And if an heir dies with part of the estate, their share goes to the closest living heir as well.
And these estate eighths are substantial: every one affords an heir a life of luxury.
----
Sounds like something like the attorneys had set up for when my grandmother died....when someone dies off then it goes to the next people in line??
That could be something that does on for years and years!!
----
Well two potential heirs have suffered fatal accidents already. I relocated without telling them my destination.
----
yeah...smart women!!
----
Yeah although actually it is kind of lame here. I don't really know anyone.
----
Well you better let one person know where you live just in case you disappear???
----
Good idea. Hmm. I'd like to be searched for if something happens, but I don't want to reveal where I am in case someone is reading my email. Let's stay in contact. Can you email my friend Michelle if you don't hear from me for a full week?
----
Of course...I never met you but I don't want to see something happen to you!!
You have my number too....I don't have yours, but maybe you want to give it to me so that I can put it in my address book.
Keep in touch,
A____
----
Actually, I don't even have a phone at the moment. Little need for it down here. I'll figure out a way to send my location in case something happens.
----
Ok....well not sure if you are still having a memorial service??
Hopefully, everything will work out for you!!
Take Care,
A____
----
We were so pissed at the old man that we refused to claim the body or give him a funeral.
But now that all of the siblings are in precarious situations, if they go before me I'll throw the greatest funeral party this world has ever seen.
----
...
I have not heard back from you??
Just wondering how you made out with the maze of questions!!
Let me know,
A____
----
Well the ordeal ceased to be a major headache. But it did so by becoming a nightmare. It turned out that dead salmon fail to swim upstream. Since we uncovered this crucial piece of information, we've discovered the terrifying structure of the will.
----
So after all of that is he paying you anything???
That would stink to do all of that & get nothing!!
Yes, a dead salmon will not go upstream....that's for sure - kind of corny don't you think that he would have that in there?
----
We will get the estate in pieces. However, the deceased left nine heirs and an estate divided pizza-like into pieces of eight. The conditions for dispersal show the dead magnate's insanity. His last will and testament decrees that the death of an heir gives a piece of the estate to the living heir who happens to be closest geographically to the death. And if an heir dies with part of the estate, their share goes to the closest living heir as well.
And these estate eighths are substantial: every one affords an heir a life of luxury.
----
Sounds like something like the attorneys had set up for when my grandmother died....when someone dies off then it goes to the next people in line??
That could be something that does on for years and years!!
----
Well two potential heirs have suffered fatal accidents already. I relocated without telling them my destination.
----
yeah...smart women!!
----
Yeah although actually it is kind of lame here. I don't really know anyone.
----
Well you better let one person know where you live just in case you disappear???
----
Good idea. Hmm. I'd like to be searched for if something happens, but I don't want to reveal where I am in case someone is reading my email. Let's stay in contact. Can you email my friend Michelle if you don't hear from me for a full week?
----
Of course...I never met you but I don't want to see something happen to you!!
You have my number too....I don't have yours, but maybe you want to give it to me so that I can put it in my address book.
Keep in touch,
A____
----
Actually, I don't even have a phone at the moment. Little need for it down here. I'll figure out a way to send my location in case something happens.
----
Ok....well not sure if you are still having a memorial service??
Hopefully, everything will work out for you!!
Take Care,
A____
----
We were so pissed at the old man that we refused to claim the body or give him a funeral.
But now that all of the siblings are in precarious situations, if they go before me I'll throw the greatest funeral party this world has ever seen.
----
...
device-mageddon
craigslist ad: DEVICE CREATION PROJECT
Hi,
I need someone who can design an add-on to an existing device for me.
I need to interface with it via USB. No other details at this time.
----
Hello:
I might be your girl.
Beth
----
Beth,
What's your background?
R_____
----
I left school after tenth grade. I earned my Ph.D every day creating devices. You can't get it in a book. Creating devices is about instinct -- about smellin' it. Creatin' devices is an art.
----
I like that, Beth.
Can you see your way to adding USB connectivity to a device?
----
I've added USB connectivity to them all.
----
What types of devices have you done that for already?
----
I scraped together some money, bought some old equipment, a little bench. I set up a rig and built my first device. Then I sat there and watched her soak up the sun for six months -- waiting for this baby to pop. Everybody told me to quit. I wouldn't listen.
----
I didn't get that. What do you mean?
----
I have been creating devices on the earth for thirty years. And I have never, never missed a connectivity that I have aimed for. And by God, I am not gonna miss this one.
----
You're talking in code. Can you be specific about the devices?
----
I will make the connection. I swear to God I will.
----
Thanks for replying, Beth. I won't be chatting with you anymore. Take care.
----
You take care of yourself.
Hi,
I need someone who can design an add-on to an existing device for me.
I need to interface with it via USB. No other details at this time.
----
Hello:
I might be your girl.
Beth
----
Beth,
What's your background?
R_____
----
I left school after tenth grade. I earned my Ph.D every day creating devices. You can't get it in a book. Creating devices is about instinct -- about smellin' it. Creatin' devices is an art.
----
I like that, Beth.
Can you see your way to adding USB connectivity to a device?
----
I've added USB connectivity to them all.
----
What types of devices have you done that for already?
----
I scraped together some money, bought some old equipment, a little bench. I set up a rig and built my first device. Then I sat there and watched her soak up the sun for six months -- waiting for this baby to pop. Everybody told me to quit. I wouldn't listen.
----
I didn't get that. What do you mean?
----
I have been creating devices on the earth for thirty years. And I have never, never missed a connectivity that I have aimed for. And by God, I am not gonna miss this one.
----
You're talking in code. Can you be specific about the devices?
----
I will make the connection. I swear to God I will.
----
Thanks for replying, Beth. I won't be chatting with you anymore. Take care.
----
You take care of yourself.
Monday, October 4, 2010
new jersey devils, part 2
I haven't heard from you in a bit...
<<< enclosed picture >>>
----
Love the picture Beth, very cute. I had a busy weekend. I also don't know exactly how to use you for my website. It's a sports news site so fictional stories don't really fit into it. I am still brainstorming to try and figure something out.
----
Maybe a side feature could highlight it?
----
What do you mean by that? I am open to at least listening to your ideas.
----
Well I don't like to put any context around my work. I'm sure that if you published it as a news story people could draw their own conclusions.
----
I can't publish something as news if it is completely a fiction story.
---
But isn't most of sports reporting just fitting narrative to events with inherent randomness? In fiction, the only difference is the source of the randomness.
----
The articles on my site refer either to fact or opinion.
----
Take this paragraph from the posts on the Jets' win over the Pats:
<<< paragraph from G_____'s site >>>
Most of this is not just opinion but opinion about what storyline best fits what we saw and did not see. For some writers, half of their material seems to come from somewhere else -- like someone else writes it. And they just weave some kind of narrative into the parts that come from external sources.
Plus, don't you respect your readers enough to let them distinguish between fiction and non-fiction? Even the 'World Weekly News' does this.
----
Beth -
We could go back and forth on this all day. I am not trying to argue with you. I do completely enjoy your writing, I just don't think it's a fit for my website. I think you could definitely have a future in writing, even in sports. Maybe start up a fictional sports blog site based on stories like the one you sent me??
I do enjoy working with you and speaking with you. It is just my preference to not go in that direction with my site at this time.
----
Yes I've been thinking of starting a fictional blog but I'm not sure how to attract sports fans. We'll see. Maybe I'll try doing a sports opinion piece?
----
Beth -
Are you looking to do a fictional blog just on sports? Or in general? I am the Director of Operations of a sports blog network. If a fictional sports blog site is something you are truly interested in, I can run the idea by the other board members and see if they think they would want that on the network.
----
Hmm. Maybe run the idea by them. I'm interested in a fictional sports blog site but I would have to write about more of the material first.
----
Ok I threw him an email letting him know you are interested in possibly starting a fictional sports blog on the network. What exactly do you mean when you said you would have to write about more of the material first?
----
Well I have to think up the interviews and events and see how they go. That is the material. Then I have to write about that.
----
Ok, we'll I passed it along and will let you know what they say.
----
Okay. I'm thinking of doing a behind-the-scenes thing on the 2006 ESPY awards.
----
ok :)
----
Do you have blog-ring requirements for the number of posts per week or something like that?
----
They normally like to have each blogger write at least three articles per week. However since your site would be completely different then the normal sports site, it may be different. Once I get the info from the guys, I will let you know more details.
----
How many entries do you think you need to kick off a blog?
----
You can do one at a time, as long as you write consistently.
----
So you can start one with just one entry? Maybe I will build up a few before the big release so that people will be able to look at more than one piece on their first visit.
----
Beth -
The guys that run that site are intrigued and interested in seeing a sample of what your writing on the site may be like. Can you please put together an example? Maybe something like, your first experience at the US Open? Or something like that.
----
Good idea, I have begun a story about my first experience at the US Open.
----
Great. Thanks Beth
----
I have enclosed my first draft about a first experience at the US Open.
The First Experience at the US Open
by Beth M______
<<< Many years later, as she faced the human-resources consultants, Michelle Spurlock was to remember that distant afternoon when her father took her to discover tennis.
But today she practiced ice hockey for the first time. Her paternal grandfather, Magnus Spurlock, had dominated the sport decades hence and now his son and her father, also Magnus Spurlock, showed her the game.
In modern hockey, players glide on bladed shoes attempted to shoot a stubby cylinder into a net. Genetics and family secrets bestowed on Michelle a Tracy-Austin-like virtuosity with respect to (for short: wrt) the game of hockey, one whose traditional balance of power favored her male counterparts.
And her game wasn't girly either -- it reeked of a musky masculine aggression seldom seen outside of the towel-snapping confines of the proverbial locker room. She fought, she bit, she cross-checked. Magnus couldn't have been prouder.
But as she aged something happened. Boys treated her differently, like a wound caused by the bite of a rabid dog. And, although she had always been smaller than the players she was pulverizing, adolescence widened that gap. She could still compete, but she wasn't dominating. The opposition no longer feared her. The meanest boys teased her, calling her the type of player who had to change her pads several times every period.
So she went to her grandfather. She sat before Magnus, a great metaphor of a man who stood six feet and seven centimeters, even with the stoop his back had taken on due to decades of supporting shoulders like similes. He smiled and told her that, although he loved hockey, she may find herself more suited to another sport -- one where women had already won the battle of the sexes. And so he took her to a tournament.
A gust of wind foreshadowed their entrance to the World Tennis Association's august August tournament, the US Open. Watching tennis greats like Steffi Graf, Gabriela Sabatini, Wilfred Johnson, and Jim Courier, she was awed by the majesty of the sport. After the tournament, she spent days training her forehand and backhand and all of the hands in between. She set matches and served seconds and broke points and learned the ins and outs of the game. She developed a wicked lob shot and started winning tournaments.
But then as often happens something happened. Going to shake hands with her beaten opponent, hockey instincts took over. She grabbed the opponent's shirt's back and pulled it over her head. She tossed down her racket and gloves and started beating the poor tennis player like a pinata stuffed full of Pentium processors, which are incredibly valuable for their size and weight. Blood splattered out through all the relevant steradians and Michelle's tournament ended because of an esoteric rule infraction. Magnus, her father, smiled and he remembered with nostalgia his thirst for blood.
The next day, Michelle laced her skates up again in a local men's league. She had lost some of her quickness, but against the spotty competition there she fared well. That game she performed a hat trick. But sitting on the bench during the third period, she knew she would never attain the sport's highest honor of getting so drunk after winning an NHL title that she urinated in the Stanley Cup and she longed to go back to tennis. The coach soon would whistle her back onto the ice.
Before reaching that final line change, however, she had already understood that she would never leave the ice rink, because families condemned to one hundred years of hockey did not have a second opportunity in tennis. >>>
----
Beth -
I've passed along your story. What are you looking to get out of starting your own blog?
<<< enclosed picture >>>
----
Love the picture Beth, very cute. I had a busy weekend. I also don't know exactly how to use you for my website. It's a sports news site so fictional stories don't really fit into it. I am still brainstorming to try and figure something out.
----
Maybe a side feature could highlight it?
----
What do you mean by that? I am open to at least listening to your ideas.
----
Well I don't like to put any context around my work. I'm sure that if you published it as a news story people could draw their own conclusions.
----
I can't publish something as news if it is completely a fiction story.
---
But isn't most of sports reporting just fitting narrative to events with inherent randomness? In fiction, the only difference is the source of the randomness.
----
The articles on my site refer either to fact or opinion.
----
Take this paragraph from the posts on the Jets' win over the Pats:
<<< paragraph from G_____'s site >>>
Most of this is not just opinion but opinion about what storyline best fits what we saw and did not see. For some writers, half of their material seems to come from somewhere else -- like someone else writes it. And they just weave some kind of narrative into the parts that come from external sources.
Plus, don't you respect your readers enough to let them distinguish between fiction and non-fiction? Even the 'World Weekly News' does this.
----
Beth -
We could go back and forth on this all day. I am not trying to argue with you. I do completely enjoy your writing, I just don't think it's a fit for my website. I think you could definitely have a future in writing, even in sports. Maybe start up a fictional sports blog site based on stories like the one you sent me??
I do enjoy working with you and speaking with you. It is just my preference to not go in that direction with my site at this time.
----
Yes I've been thinking of starting a fictional blog but I'm not sure how to attract sports fans. We'll see. Maybe I'll try doing a sports opinion piece?
----
Beth -
Are you looking to do a fictional blog just on sports? Or in general? I am the Director of Operations of a sports blog network. If a fictional sports blog site is something you are truly interested in, I can run the idea by the other board members and see if they think they would want that on the network.
----
Hmm. Maybe run the idea by them. I'm interested in a fictional sports blog site but I would have to write about more of the material first.
----
Ok I threw him an email letting him know you are interested in possibly starting a fictional sports blog on the network. What exactly do you mean when you said you would have to write about more of the material first?
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Well I have to think up the interviews and events and see how they go. That is the material. Then I have to write about that.
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Ok, we'll I passed it along and will let you know what they say.
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Okay. I'm thinking of doing a behind-the-scenes thing on the 2006 ESPY awards.
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ok :)
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Do you have blog-ring requirements for the number of posts per week or something like that?
----
They normally like to have each blogger write at least three articles per week. However since your site would be completely different then the normal sports site, it may be different. Once I get the info from the guys, I will let you know more details.
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How many entries do you think you need to kick off a blog?
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You can do one at a time, as long as you write consistently.
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So you can start one with just one entry? Maybe I will build up a few before the big release so that people will be able to look at more than one piece on their first visit.
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Beth -
The guys that run that site are intrigued and interested in seeing a sample of what your writing on the site may be like. Can you please put together an example? Maybe something like, your first experience at the US Open? Or something like that.
----
Good idea, I have begun a story about my first experience at the US Open.
----
Great. Thanks Beth
----
I have enclosed my first draft about a first experience at the US Open.
The First Experience at the US Open
by Beth M______
<<< Many years later, as she faced the human-resources consultants, Michelle Spurlock was to remember that distant afternoon when her father took her to discover tennis.
But today she practiced ice hockey for the first time. Her paternal grandfather, Magnus Spurlock, had dominated the sport decades hence and now his son and her father, also Magnus Spurlock, showed her the game.
In modern hockey, players glide on bladed shoes attempted to shoot a stubby cylinder into a net. Genetics and family secrets bestowed on Michelle a Tracy-Austin-like virtuosity with respect to (for short: wrt) the game of hockey, one whose traditional balance of power favored her male counterparts.
And her game wasn't girly either -- it reeked of a musky masculine aggression seldom seen outside of the towel-snapping confines of the proverbial locker room. She fought, she bit, she cross-checked. Magnus couldn't have been prouder.
But as she aged something happened. Boys treated her differently, like a wound caused by the bite of a rabid dog. And, although she had always been smaller than the players she was pulverizing, adolescence widened that gap. She could still compete, but she wasn't dominating. The opposition no longer feared her. The meanest boys teased her, calling her the type of player who had to change her pads several times every period.
So she went to her grandfather. She sat before Magnus, a great metaphor of a man who stood six feet and seven centimeters, even with the stoop his back had taken on due to decades of supporting shoulders like similes. He smiled and told her that, although he loved hockey, she may find herself more suited to another sport -- one where women had already won the battle of the sexes. And so he took her to a tournament.
A gust of wind foreshadowed their entrance to the World Tennis Association's august August tournament, the US Open. Watching tennis greats like Steffi Graf, Gabriela Sabatini, Wilfred Johnson, and Jim Courier, she was awed by the majesty of the sport. After the tournament, she spent days training her forehand and backhand and all of the hands in between. She set matches and served seconds and broke points and learned the ins and outs of the game. She developed a wicked lob shot and started winning tournaments.
But then as often happens something happened. Going to shake hands with her beaten opponent, hockey instincts took over. She grabbed the opponent's shirt's back and pulled it over her head. She tossed down her racket and gloves and started beating the poor tennis player like a pinata stuffed full of Pentium processors, which are incredibly valuable for their size and weight. Blood splattered out through all the relevant steradians and Michelle's tournament ended because of an esoteric rule infraction. Magnus, her father, smiled and he remembered with nostalgia his thirst for blood.
The next day, Michelle laced her skates up again in a local men's league. She had lost some of her quickness, but against the spotty competition there she fared well. That game she performed a hat trick. But sitting on the bench during the third period, she knew she would never attain the sport's highest honor of getting so drunk after winning an NHL title that she urinated in the Stanley Cup and she longed to go back to tennis. The coach soon would whistle her back onto the ice.
Before reaching that final line change, however, she had already understood that she would never leave the ice rink, because families condemned to one hundred years of hockey did not have a second opportunity in tennis. >>>
----
Beth -
I've passed along your story. What are you looking to get out of starting your own blog?
breast-enhancing hypnosis
craigslist ad: Scientifically proven natural breast enhancement with hypnosis!
----
Hello:
I'm interested in hypnosis-based breast augmentation. How does it work?
Thanks, Beth
----
Beth,
Please call for the details. To much info to send in email.
R_____
----
I would prefer to have my questions answered over email if that is okay. Here are a few:
How much size can one expect to gain? How much does the procedure cost? Is the change reversible? Are sessions required to maintain the change? Is there any danger associated with hypnosis?
Thanks, Beth
----
Beth,
I will do my best I can with your questions briefly.
How much size can one expect to gain? One to two sizes. But as with all hypnosis programs, we cannot guarantee results.
How much does the procedure cost? $500.00 Three regular session and a follow up review. Subject to change.
Is the change reversible? Never had that question before. Unknown.
Are sessions required to maintain the change? Not sessions but cds are given to be used over a period of several months.
Is there any danger associated with hypnosis? No. Please review my website for more information on our FAQ page. Also our sessions and fee page (this program is not part of our regular price program).
Best wishes,
R_____
----
One to two size? Does this mean cup or strap sizes?
You don't guarantee results but do you still charge if the size stays the same?
----
Beth,
Evidence states that you can have up to two cup sizes. We cannot guarantee results and the price is the same. Do doctors guarantee results when you go to them? No and they are still paid. I work hard to help you make this happen. I deserve to be compensated for my work. By thinking this way you put no value on my services. If you don't value them, you don't accept that this can happen. Success or failure is really up to you. There is a psycologial factor of expectations of success when you pay for something. Are you thinking, well I'll give it a try and if doesn't work, no problem. In doing this, you are not really committed. Your commitment to the process, to the sessions, to the dedication of listening to the recording faithfully and knowing you are financially invested, give you the highest chance of success. I know this is not what you want to hear. I sincerely hope you find what you are looking for.
Best wishes,
R_____
p.s. Please call if you have any more questions.
----
Plastic surgeons often do guarantee that breast size will change.
I will outline my concerns. As with many women, I will not be the one to pay for or enjoy the fruits of the augmentation. Of course I want the results -- what girl wouldn't want to unlock the power of her mind to enhance the size of her breasts? However the person who would pay for the procedure (hereinafter, the 'bursar') may not cough up the loot without measurable results. He would accuse me of just wanting the money for myself. But I would be committed to it.
If you are worried about the compensation being on average lower, maybe we could work something out. $500 is cheap for results. What success rate is typical? Maybe if 80% of clients see measurable results, I could pay you $1000 if the procedure bore fruit. That way you would get, on average, 80% of $1000, an amount that is $750. Or we could work out something similar.
I will take this journey recording faithfully my progress and adherence to the program but sometimes things ain't always what it's supposed to be.
Sending all my love along the wire, Beth
----
Hello:
I'm interested in hypnosis-based breast augmentation. How does it work?
Thanks, Beth
----
Beth,
Please call for the details. To much info to send in email.
R_____
----
I would prefer to have my questions answered over email if that is okay. Here are a few:
How much size can one expect to gain? How much does the procedure cost? Is the change reversible? Are sessions required to maintain the change? Is there any danger associated with hypnosis?
Thanks, Beth
----
Beth,
I will do my best I can with your questions briefly.
How much size can one expect to gain? One to two sizes. But as with all hypnosis programs, we cannot guarantee results.
How much does the procedure cost? $500.00 Three regular session and a follow up review. Subject to change.
Is the change reversible? Never had that question before. Unknown.
Are sessions required to maintain the change? Not sessions but cds are given to be used over a period of several months.
Is there any danger associated with hypnosis? No. Please review my website for more information on our FAQ page. Also our sessions and fee page (this program is not part of our regular price program).
Best wishes,
R_____
----
One to two size? Does this mean cup or strap sizes?
You don't guarantee results but do you still charge if the size stays the same?
----
Beth,
Evidence states that you can have up to two cup sizes. We cannot guarantee results and the price is the same. Do doctors guarantee results when you go to them? No and they are still paid. I work hard to help you make this happen. I deserve to be compensated for my work. By thinking this way you put no value on my services. If you don't value them, you don't accept that this can happen. Success or failure is really up to you. There is a psycologial factor of expectations of success when you pay for something. Are you thinking, well I'll give it a try and if doesn't work, no problem. In doing this, you are not really committed. Your commitment to the process, to the sessions, to the dedication of listening to the recording faithfully and knowing you are financially invested, give you the highest chance of success. I know this is not what you want to hear. I sincerely hope you find what you are looking for.
Best wishes,
R_____
p.s. Please call if you have any more questions.
----
Plastic surgeons often do guarantee that breast size will change.
I will outline my concerns. As with many women, I will not be the one to pay for or enjoy the fruits of the augmentation. Of course I want the results -- what girl wouldn't want to unlock the power of her mind to enhance the size of her breasts? However the person who would pay for the procedure (hereinafter, the 'bursar') may not cough up the loot without measurable results. He would accuse me of just wanting the money for myself. But I would be committed to it.
If you are worried about the compensation being on average lower, maybe we could work something out. $500 is cheap for results. What success rate is typical? Maybe if 80% of clients see measurable results, I could pay you $1000 if the procedure bore fruit. That way you would get, on average, 80% of $1000, an amount that is $750. Or we could work out something similar.
I will take this journey recording faithfully my progress and adherence to the program but sometimes things ain't always what it's supposed to be.
Sending all my love along the wire, Beth
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