nba blog

Hello:

I'm interested in joining your NBA blog, but I haven't written about basketball before (although I have been a fan for years). Can I submit a writing sample on another topic?

Cheers, Beth

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Beth,

The short answer is YES. Send us whatever you think exemplifies your ability and style as a writer.

Our Senior Staff will evaluate your submission and we'll take it from there.

Thanks for your interest in the L__ P___.

All the best,

G_______

Managing Editor
L__ P____ N___
www.__________.com

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Sorry it took w while to get back to you -- I decided, on a lark, to redeem my vacation days and tour the country. Here is an example of the kind of thing I like to write:

Magnets by Magnus Spurlock

Over the last month, I investigated the L_____ V_____’s most electric and polarizing issue: magnets. To illustrate this subject’s divisive nature, I offer three statements, two of which are true. First, scientific studies show that magnets alter our moral judgment. Second, modern-day witchdoctors provide contemporary gladiators with magnetic charms to enhance their physical prowess and regenerate their bodies. Third, a reclusive billionaire scheming in the heart of the L_____ V_____ has elite scientists working in shifts to build genetically cloned superhuman warriors wearing exoweaponsuits based on magnetic monopoles. Despite the widespread implications of electromagnetism, a phenomenon used to write the Dead Sea Scrolls and perform rites at Stonehenge, the government places few regulations on magnetic disturbances.

This year, researchers galvanized the blogosphere with a research paper about magnets and morality in ‘Proceedings of the National Academy of Science.’ In their study, they showed that blasts of magnetism could change the way humans perceive fault in ethical dilemmas. Lead researcher Liane Young understates the findings’ importance: “to apply a magnetic field to a specific brain region and change people's moral judgments is really astonishing.” To test this finding, I purchased magnets for a dozen local choir women and waited two weeks to survey them. Nine protested the content of my survey and one even called me a “lunatic and pervert.” In indirect contrast to the results of Young’s study, none of the three responders reported prostituting themselves to finance a drug habit or participating in human trafficking.

P_________ baseball star C___ H_____ exploits the magick of magnetism to boost his ability to compete at the velocity-dependent Major-League level. Championed by pseudoscientists and alternative-medicine enthusiasts but universally derided as hogwash and snake oil by professional physicists, magnetic charms and adornments can be purchased online or in specialty stores but are not endorsed by the Food and Drug Administration. To test their efficacy on a pro-sports playing field, I purchased a seventy-dollar necklace and headed to an E_____ game. Unfortunately, I lack pro-athlete status and was refused a magnetic moment on the field. Nevertheless, I stripped naked and festooned myself with magnetic necklace and charms. However I was intercepted prior to making it onto the field, leaving me unable to test whether my magnetized self could level a pro football star with a punishing shoulder check.

Space considerations force this awkward transition to considering the ludicrous Maxwellian superwarrior program mentioned in the introductory paragraph, which I thought up after bombing flaming shots of Absinthe into energy drinks and will now discuss as fact. An army of clones being made in abandoned steel factory will wear suits powered by magnetic monopoles, a fanciful form of magnetic charge. This hundred-million-dollar program seeks to defend the Constitution of the United States from armies of the French undead, possibly led by a Napoleon-Bonaparte zombie. Should these frog-, slug-, and flesh-munching assailants emerge on Atlantic beaches, ferrobionic commando-clones wielding the might of magnetism would defend our sacred document.

Earth itself has oodles of Gausses and Teslas of magnetic field, and I verified with a compass that this magnetic field currently extends to the L_____ V_____. Diligent citizens can measure local magnetic-field fluctuations with Hall-effect sensors, which could be included in bomb-shelter kits and eschatological investigations. According to the canon of physics literature, any movement of electric charge creates the infamous magnetic field. But scientists espousing relativity argue that static electric charges move in another reference frame, creating a magnetic field by doing so. Of course, local government could tax such reference frames and even the motion of electric charge, capitalizing on magnetism to alleviate the burden of taxation.

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Beth,

You're more than welcome to submit an original work with subject matter relating to the NBA anytime.

We all like Some Senseless Gibberish. It's like Don Novello's The Lazlo Letters for the internet age. Especially using Craiglist as the fishing hole. Quite brilliant. The Foreigner reference to the group looking for a church? Dead on.

All the best,

G_______

Managing Editor
L__ P____ N___
www.__________.com

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From Google:

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G______,

Wow, that's funny. Thanks for the review.

I intend to submit something about the NBA for your site.

Cheers,

Beth