Saturday, September 18, 2010

the will, part 1

craigslist ad for catering

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A______:

We have a funeral-type thing that we need to serve sushi at. But the circumstances are a little strange. Do you work with this kind of situation?

Thanks, Beth

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Yes....I do Memorial Services!

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When do you need this?

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A______:

This is a memorial for a dead man. We want to get him into the ground before there are any surprises, so this would need to happen in the next few days.

Thanks, Beth

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Hi Beth,

What would you like at the services??

Let me know,
A______

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We need some sushi. But it doesn't have to be great. Due to the stipulations of the will, I doubt anyone will eat it.

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That is all you want??

How many people??

What day??

I can do a combination of rolls and sashimi.

Let me know,
A______
______ Catering
XXX-XXX-XXXX (cell)

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Hi Beth,

Best thing is to give me a call...if you get my voicemail, please leave a message.

My phone does not always ring??

Thank you,
A______
______ Catering
www.______.biz

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Sorry I haven't been in touch. Things have really gone South here?

Beth

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No problem!

Just let me know if you still need help?

Thank you,
A______

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I'll stay in touch. We're still haggling over how much of the deceased's last requests we will conform to, and this determines whether we'll need the sushi. A lot of it depends on the will?

Thanks, Beth

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Where is this going to be??

A______, B______, E______, W______, ??

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Not sure yet. Truthfully, only about half of us want to bury him at all. He's left all these requests and stipulations and now we're finding out that there is less money than we originally thought. The sushi angle is weird but surmountable. Some of the other stuff is frightfully weird?

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Well less money is better than no $$.

When the attorneys get done eating up their share and the inheritance tax alot of it goes away!!

My uncle that passed away Uncle Sam got over $100k and my mom is still paying gains from his stocks and bonds.

If you are not sure can you let me know if you are in the L______ ______??

Thank you,
A______

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Well the deceased was a financial genius, so I doubt the government will get much of it. He was able to set everything up and structure it such that the money will avoid most taxes as it changes hands.

But he was also a very strange man. He set up a maze of challenges, terms, and conditions that must be met before the inheritances are disbursed. We're trying to see what legal means we have to avoid these. It would be nice if we could have him declared insane so that we don't have to carry out all these wishes.

Since his main home was in N______, we'll probably have the ceremony there if it can't be avoided?

Thanks, Beth

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Well that is great that he is able to loophole and that is probably why you have so many challenges???

Thank you for letting me know destination because some people respond and don't even live in the area!

Well keep in touch,
A______
______ Catering
XXX-XXX-XXXX (cell)

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It's great that he didn't lose any of the money to the government, but it will be for naught if we can't complete these challenges. If we fail the tasks, all the money would be disbursed to various charities. Right now it feels like we're playing 'Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego?'. Do you remember that game?

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No I don't remember that game...what is one of the challenges??

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As you know, the edutainment genre comprises varied computer games and other products that serve to entertain and educate. In 'Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego?', playents follow the trail of a fictional character, Carmen Sandiego, around the world learning about geography and culture. It's a ton of fun. Anyways, we have this cryptic note about the Shogun and we're supposed to find a puzzle piece related to it. My brothers have been in China for two weeks but it seems like a Shogun could have come from anywhere in China.

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too funny so you are traveling all across the country to find pieces to the puzzle??

I hope that he left a nice little nest egg to do that!

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Yeah it's ridiculous. I went to St. Louis for about five hours last week to uncover a clue. But it seems like we're getting close. It's frustrating. What if this is all an elaborate joke?

By the way, do you know if there is some type of salmon that don't swim upstream?

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hmmm salmon that doesn't swim upstream??

one that is not horny!!  lol....

That is what it says on google....

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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Salmon

Here...these are all of your salmon out there!!

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I went to a high school muscial called Lucky Stiff where the dead Uncle had the nephew going to Monte Carlo and all over, but the kid actually had to take his dead uncle in a wheelchair along with him!!

Then you tell me that you are going all over....that is great he must of had lots of money and he doesn't want to make it easy for anyone to get....figures he would put a little fun in it for you in his own little way??

Hey look at the bright side you will never forget him and you will have great conversation for years!!!

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Yeah he's probably somewhere having fun with this. Actually we just had somewhat of a breakthrough in a Parisienne sewer and it looks like we might make it. But we're still stymied on the China front with the Shogun clue.

And I don't think we ever could forget him anyways. He accomplished many things, some wonderful and some despicable.

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He is definitely having a good time with you!!

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I'm sure the bastard is loving it. We're out traipsing through the sewers of a stinky-cheese-eating population while he's doubled over with laughter in a mortuary freezer. I maintain hope that we will get the money, it would be a travesty if it went to charity.

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lol....love it!!!  Would love to meet you in person you sound like a hoot....

Hey if you need another person I would be glad to join your voyage vs sitting inside all day in an office on the computer???

My daytime job I am the executive director for a non-profit organization that helps families that are losing their homes to foreclosure.  Over 2 years ago I went nationwide....so I am busy, but would love to be busier.  Unfortunately, with the lack of funds I am not able to publicly broadcast our services!

Trade you jobs???  Yours sounds like it will be more financially rewarding however, I know that I am doing a good deed & helping those in distress!!!!

Well keep me posted on when you would like me to help you out,
A______
www.______.biz
XXX-XXX-XXXX (cell)

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Well, ours is an all-or-nothing proposition. I hold out hope that we will be rewarded.

If I send you a couple of images of what we have of the puzzle, would you be willing to tell me what you think?

Thanks, Beth

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sure!

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