Dear Beth,
Thank you for the poinsettias and late-season pears you kindly sent over to me. And what a lovely basket they were delivered in!
I've become a contributor at 'adopt a liberal-arts graduate,' a friend's blog. The first entry is here. The focus is a recent paper by Mark E Davis and others on using targeting siRNA to turn off cancer genes, but it touches on Mormonism, Hang 'Em High, and Harry Potter.
Hope to see you at Michelle's haunted house this weekend!
Magnus III
Friday, October 29, 2010
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
nba blog
Hello:
I'm interested in joining your NBA blog, but I haven't written about basketball before (although I have been a fan for years). Can I submit a writing sample on another topic?
Cheers, Beth
----
Beth,
The short answer is YES. Send us whatever you think exemplifies your ability and style as a writer.
Our Senior Staff will evaluate your submission and we'll take it from there.
Thanks for your interest in the L__ P___.
All the best,
G_______
Managing Editor
L__ P____ N___
www.__________.com
----
Sorry it took w while to get back to you -- I decided, on a lark, to redeem my vacation days and tour the country. Here is an example of the kind of thing I like to write:
Magnets by Magnus Spurlock
Over the last month, I investigated the L_____ V_____’s most electric and polarizing issue: magnets. To illustrate this subject’s divisive nature, I offer three statements, two of which are true. First, scientific studies show that magnets alter our moral judgment. Second, modern-day witchdoctors provide contemporary gladiators with magnetic charms to enhance their physical prowess and regenerate their bodies. Third, a reclusive billionaire scheming in the heart of the L_____ V_____ has elite scientists working in shifts to build genetically cloned superhuman warriors wearing exoweaponsuits based on magnetic monopoles. Despite the widespread implications of electromagnetism, a phenomenon used to write the Dead Sea Scrolls and perform rites at Stonehenge, the government places few regulations on magnetic disturbances.
This year, researchers galvanized the blogosphere with a research paper about magnets and morality in ‘Proceedings of the National Academy of Science.’ In their study, they showed that blasts of magnetism could change the way humans perceive fault in ethical dilemmas. Lead researcher Liane Young understates the findings’ importance: “to apply a magnetic field to a specific brain region and change people's moral judgments is really astonishing.” To test this finding, I purchased magnets for a dozen local choir women and waited two weeks to survey them. Nine protested the content of my survey and one even called me a “lunatic and pervert.” In indirect contrast to the results of Young’s study, none of the three responders reported prostituting themselves to finance a drug habit or participating in human trafficking.
P_________ baseball star C___ H_____ exploits the magick of magnetism to boost his ability to compete at the velocity-dependent Major-League level. Championed by pseudoscientists and alternative-medicine enthusiasts but universally derided as hogwash and snake oil by professional physicists, magnetic charms and adornments can be purchased online or in specialty stores but are not endorsed by the Food and Drug Administration. To test their efficacy on a pro-sports playing field, I purchased a seventy-dollar necklace and headed to an E_____ game. Unfortunately, I lack pro-athlete status and was refused a magnetic moment on the field. Nevertheless, I stripped naked and festooned myself with magnetic necklace and charms. However I was intercepted prior to making it onto the field, leaving me unable to test whether my magnetized self could level a pro football star with a punishing shoulder check.
Space considerations force this awkward transition to considering the ludicrous Maxwellian superwarrior program mentioned in the introductory paragraph, which I thought up after bombing flaming shots of Absinthe into energy drinks and will now discuss as fact. An army of clones being made in abandoned steel factory will wear suits powered by magnetic monopoles, a fanciful form of magnetic charge. This hundred-million-dollar program seeks to defend the Constitution of the United States from armies of the French undead, possibly led by a Napoleon-Bonaparte zombie. Should these frog-, slug-, and flesh-munching assailants emerge on Atlantic beaches, ferrobionic commando-clones wielding the might of magnetism would defend our sacred document.
Earth itself has oodles of Gausses and Teslas of magnetic field, and I verified with a compass that this magnetic field currently extends to the L_____ V_____. Diligent citizens can measure local magnetic-field fluctuations with Hall-effect sensors, which could be included in bomb-shelter kits and eschatological investigations. According to the canon of physics literature, any movement of electric charge creates the infamous magnetic field. But scientists espousing relativity argue that static electric charges move in another reference frame, creating a magnetic field by doing so. Of course, local government could tax such reference frames and even the motion of electric charge, capitalizing on magnetism to alleviate the burden of taxation.
----
Beth,
You're more than welcome to submit an original work with subject matter relating to the NBA anytime.
We all like Some Senseless Gibberish. It's like Don Novello's The Lazlo Letters for the internet age. Especially using Craiglist as the fishing hole. Quite brilliant. The Foreigner reference to the group looking for a church? Dead on.
All the best,
G_______
Managing Editor
L__ P____ N___
www.__________.com
~~~
From SSG traffic sources for last two hours:
From Google:
----
G______,
Wow, that's funny. Thanks for the review.
I intend to submit something about the NBA for your site.
Cheers,
Beth
I'm interested in joining your NBA blog, but I haven't written about basketball before (although I have been a fan for years). Can I submit a writing sample on another topic?
Cheers, Beth
----
Beth,
The short answer is YES. Send us whatever you think exemplifies your ability and style as a writer.
Our Senior Staff will evaluate your submission and we'll take it from there.
Thanks for your interest in the L__ P___.
All the best,
G_______
Managing Editor
L__ P____ N___
www.__________.com
----
Sorry it took w while to get back to you -- I decided, on a lark, to redeem my vacation days and tour the country. Here is an example of the kind of thing I like to write:
Magnets by Magnus Spurlock
Over the last month, I investigated the L_____ V_____’s most electric and polarizing issue: magnets. To illustrate this subject’s divisive nature, I offer three statements, two of which are true. First, scientific studies show that magnets alter our moral judgment. Second, modern-day witchdoctors provide contemporary gladiators with magnetic charms to enhance their physical prowess and regenerate their bodies. Third, a reclusive billionaire scheming in the heart of the L_____ V_____ has elite scientists working in shifts to build genetically cloned superhuman warriors wearing exoweaponsuits based on magnetic monopoles. Despite the widespread implications of electromagnetism, a phenomenon used to write the Dead Sea Scrolls and perform rites at Stonehenge, the government places few regulations on magnetic disturbances.
This year, researchers galvanized the blogosphere with a research paper about magnets and morality in ‘Proceedings of the National Academy of Science.’ In their study, they showed that blasts of magnetism could change the way humans perceive fault in ethical dilemmas. Lead researcher Liane Young understates the findings’ importance: “to apply a magnetic field to a specific brain region and change people's moral judgments is really astonishing.” To test this finding, I purchased magnets for a dozen local choir women and waited two weeks to survey them. Nine protested the content of my survey and one even called me a “lunatic and pervert.” In indirect contrast to the results of Young’s study, none of the three responders reported prostituting themselves to finance a drug habit or participating in human trafficking.
P_________ baseball star C___ H_____ exploits the magick of magnetism to boost his ability to compete at the velocity-dependent Major-League level. Championed by pseudoscientists and alternative-medicine enthusiasts but universally derided as hogwash and snake oil by professional physicists, magnetic charms and adornments can be purchased online or in specialty stores but are not endorsed by the Food and Drug Administration. To test their efficacy on a pro-sports playing field, I purchased a seventy-dollar necklace and headed to an E_____ game. Unfortunately, I lack pro-athlete status and was refused a magnetic moment on the field. Nevertheless, I stripped naked and festooned myself with magnetic necklace and charms. However I was intercepted prior to making it onto the field, leaving me unable to test whether my magnetized self could level a pro football star with a punishing shoulder check.
Space considerations force this awkward transition to considering the ludicrous Maxwellian superwarrior program mentioned in the introductory paragraph, which I thought up after bombing flaming shots of Absinthe into energy drinks and will now discuss as fact. An army of clones being made in abandoned steel factory will wear suits powered by magnetic monopoles, a fanciful form of magnetic charge. This hundred-million-dollar program seeks to defend the Constitution of the United States from armies of the French undead, possibly led by a Napoleon-Bonaparte zombie. Should these frog-, slug-, and flesh-munching assailants emerge on Atlantic beaches, ferrobionic commando-clones wielding the might of magnetism would defend our sacred document.
Earth itself has oodles of Gausses and Teslas of magnetic field, and I verified with a compass that this magnetic field currently extends to the L_____ V_____. Diligent citizens can measure local magnetic-field fluctuations with Hall-effect sensors, which could be included in bomb-shelter kits and eschatological investigations. According to the canon of physics literature, any movement of electric charge creates the infamous magnetic field. But scientists espousing relativity argue that static electric charges move in another reference frame, creating a magnetic field by doing so. Of course, local government could tax such reference frames and even the motion of electric charge, capitalizing on magnetism to alleviate the burden of taxation.
----
Beth,
You're more than welcome to submit an original work with subject matter relating to the NBA anytime.
We all like Some Senseless Gibberish. It's like Don Novello's The Lazlo Letters for the internet age. Especially using Craiglist as the fishing hole. Quite brilliant. The Foreigner reference to the group looking for a church? Dead on.
All the best,
G_______
Managing Editor
L__ P____ N___
www.__________.com
~~~
From SSG traffic sources for last two hours:
From Google:
----
G______,
Wow, that's funny. Thanks for the review.
I intend to submit something about the NBA for your site.
Cheers,
Beth
has-been stripper
craigslist ad asking for stripper at 12 am for a bachelor party
----
Hello:
I'm interested in the gig but it is a bit unusual to have a stripper over at noon. Would the show be outside? How many people would be there?
Beth
----
well, thanks for replying, you were the only response.
too bad it was for last week.
----
I can have been there last week. Should I let you know how much I charge?
----
sure...
picture as well?
----
First can you tell me how you think it went?
----
the party? it went fine, woulda been better if we had a dancer..
----
If I'm going to get paid for this job, I'm going to have to have been there.
----
well, since you haven't been here, I really can't pay you
----
I haven't have been there last week... yet.
----
No, not yet, but let me know.
----
Actually I take cash before I will have been somewhere.
----
Well, no wonder you weren't here, I haven't paid you yet..
----
But once I get the cash I will have had been there.
----
right..well i guess you need to get paid
----
Well I have needed to will have been.
----
let me know when you are going to pick up your money..
----
When should I pick it up?
----
i will be here all day yesterday
*
and today...
if you got the time....
----
I assume that I told you what my rates were?
----
no you haven't
----
By the time you have paid I will have.
----
this banter makes me feel like you may know me...
----
Maybe in some temporal context I will have had.
----
well if you get around to being corporeal, lemme know..
----
You mean you will want to have been desiring punishment?
----
no, i meant in the physical sense of you being here..
----
You will want me to have been on my way over there?
----
well, sure has been fun talking in spirals with/at you, always nice to find an intruiging mind. i will be married in about 46 hrs or so, then off on the honeymoon for a week.... so perhaps if you can recall be in touch..
----
(week passes)
...
Did the marriage thing work out?
----
so far...
----
Will it always have been?
----
probably was.
----
Will you have let me known?
----
Hello:
I'm interested in the gig but it is a bit unusual to have a stripper over at noon. Would the show be outside? How many people would be there?
Beth
----
well, thanks for replying, you were the only response.
too bad it was for last week.
----
I can have been there last week. Should I let you know how much I charge?
----
sure...
picture as well?
----
First can you tell me how you think it went?
----
the party? it went fine, woulda been better if we had a dancer..
----
If I'm going to get paid for this job, I'm going to have to have been there.
----
well, since you haven't been here, I really can't pay you
----
I haven't have been there last week... yet.
----
No, not yet, but let me know.
----
Actually I take cash before I will have been somewhere.
----
Well, no wonder you weren't here, I haven't paid you yet..
----
But once I get the cash I will have had been there.
----
right..well i guess you need to get paid
----
Well I have needed to will have been.
----
let me know when you are going to pick up your money..
----
When should I pick it up?
----
i will be here all day yesterday
*
and today...
if you got the time....
----
I assume that I told you what my rates were?
----
no you haven't
----
By the time you have paid I will have.
----
this banter makes me feel like you may know me...
----
Maybe in some temporal context I will have had.
----
well if you get around to being corporeal, lemme know..
----
You mean you will want to have been desiring punishment?
----
no, i meant in the physical sense of you being here..
----
You will want me to have been on my way over there?
----
well, sure has been fun talking in spirals with/at you, always nice to find an intruiging mind. i will be married in about 46 hrs or so, then off on the honeymoon for a week.... so perhaps if you can recall be in touch..
----
(week passes)
...
Did the marriage thing work out?
----
so far...
----
Will it always have been?
----
probably was.
----
Will you have let me known?
the will, part 2a
Hi Beth,
I have not heard back from you??
Just wondering how you made out with the maze of questions!!
Let me know,
A____
----
Well the ordeal ceased to be a major headache. But it did so by becoming a nightmare. It turned out that dead salmon fail to swim upstream. Since we uncovered this crucial piece of information, we've discovered the terrifying structure of the will.
----
So after all of that is he paying you anything???
That would stink to do all of that & get nothing!!
Yes, a dead salmon will not go upstream....that's for sure - kind of corny don't you think that he would have that in there?
----
We will get the estate in pieces. However, the deceased left nine heirs and an estate divided pizza-like into pieces of eight. The conditions for dispersal show the dead magnate's insanity. His last will and testament decrees that the death of an heir gives a piece of the estate to the living heir who happens to be closest geographically to the death. And if an heir dies with part of the estate, their share goes to the closest living heir as well.
And these estate eighths are substantial: every one affords an heir a life of luxury.
----
Sounds like something like the attorneys had set up for when my grandmother died....when someone dies off then it goes to the next people in line??
That could be something that does on for years and years!!
----
Well two potential heirs have suffered fatal accidents already. I relocated without telling them my destination.
----
yeah...smart women!!
----
Yeah although actually it is kind of lame here. I don't really know anyone.
----
Well you better let one person know where you live just in case you disappear???
----
Good idea. Hmm. I'd like to be searched for if something happens, but I don't want to reveal where I am in case someone is reading my email. Let's stay in contact. Can you email my friend Michelle if you don't hear from me for a full week?
----
Of course...I never met you but I don't want to see something happen to you!!
You have my number too....I don't have yours, but maybe you want to give it to me so that I can put it in my address book.
Keep in touch,
A____
----
Actually, I don't even have a phone at the moment. Little need for it down here. I'll figure out a way to send my location in case something happens.
----
Ok....well not sure if you are still having a memorial service??
Hopefully, everything will work out for you!!
Take Care,
A____
----
We were so pissed at the old man that we refused to claim the body or give him a funeral.
But now that all of the siblings are in precarious situations, if they go before me I'll throw the greatest funeral party this world has ever seen.
----
...
I have not heard back from you??
Just wondering how you made out with the maze of questions!!
Let me know,
A____
----
Well the ordeal ceased to be a major headache. But it did so by becoming a nightmare. It turned out that dead salmon fail to swim upstream. Since we uncovered this crucial piece of information, we've discovered the terrifying structure of the will.
----
So after all of that is he paying you anything???
That would stink to do all of that & get nothing!!
Yes, a dead salmon will not go upstream....that's for sure - kind of corny don't you think that he would have that in there?
----
We will get the estate in pieces. However, the deceased left nine heirs and an estate divided pizza-like into pieces of eight. The conditions for dispersal show the dead magnate's insanity. His last will and testament decrees that the death of an heir gives a piece of the estate to the living heir who happens to be closest geographically to the death. And if an heir dies with part of the estate, their share goes to the closest living heir as well.
And these estate eighths are substantial: every one affords an heir a life of luxury.
----
Sounds like something like the attorneys had set up for when my grandmother died....when someone dies off then it goes to the next people in line??
That could be something that does on for years and years!!
----
Well two potential heirs have suffered fatal accidents already. I relocated without telling them my destination.
----
yeah...smart women!!
----
Yeah although actually it is kind of lame here. I don't really know anyone.
----
Well you better let one person know where you live just in case you disappear???
----
Good idea. Hmm. I'd like to be searched for if something happens, but I don't want to reveal where I am in case someone is reading my email. Let's stay in contact. Can you email my friend Michelle if you don't hear from me for a full week?
----
Of course...I never met you but I don't want to see something happen to you!!
You have my number too....I don't have yours, but maybe you want to give it to me so that I can put it in my address book.
Keep in touch,
A____
----
Actually, I don't even have a phone at the moment. Little need for it down here. I'll figure out a way to send my location in case something happens.
----
Ok....well not sure if you are still having a memorial service??
Hopefully, everything will work out for you!!
Take Care,
A____
----
We were so pissed at the old man that we refused to claim the body or give him a funeral.
But now that all of the siblings are in precarious situations, if they go before me I'll throw the greatest funeral party this world has ever seen.
----
...
device-mageddon
craigslist ad: DEVICE CREATION PROJECT
Hi,
I need someone who can design an add-on to an existing device for me.
I need to interface with it via USB. No other details at this time.
----
Hello:
I might be your girl.
Beth
----
Beth,
What's your background?
R_____
----
I left school after tenth grade. I earned my Ph.D every day creating devices. You can't get it in a book. Creating devices is about instinct -- about smellin' it. Creatin' devices is an art.
----
I like that, Beth.
Can you see your way to adding USB connectivity to a device?
----
I've added USB connectivity to them all.
----
What types of devices have you done that for already?
----
I scraped together some money, bought some old equipment, a little bench. I set up a rig and built my first device. Then I sat there and watched her soak up the sun for six months -- waiting for this baby to pop. Everybody told me to quit. I wouldn't listen.
----
I didn't get that. What do you mean?
----
I have been creating devices on the earth for thirty years. And I have never, never missed a connectivity that I have aimed for. And by God, I am not gonna miss this one.
----
You're talking in code. Can you be specific about the devices?
----
I will make the connection. I swear to God I will.
----
Thanks for replying, Beth. I won't be chatting with you anymore. Take care.
----
You take care of yourself.
Hi,
I need someone who can design an add-on to an existing device for me.
I need to interface with it via USB. No other details at this time.
----
Hello:
I might be your girl.
Beth
----
Beth,
What's your background?
R_____
----
I left school after tenth grade. I earned my Ph.D every day creating devices. You can't get it in a book. Creating devices is about instinct -- about smellin' it. Creatin' devices is an art.
----
I like that, Beth.
Can you see your way to adding USB connectivity to a device?
----
I've added USB connectivity to them all.
----
What types of devices have you done that for already?
----
I scraped together some money, bought some old equipment, a little bench. I set up a rig and built my first device. Then I sat there and watched her soak up the sun for six months -- waiting for this baby to pop. Everybody told me to quit. I wouldn't listen.
----
I didn't get that. What do you mean?
----
I have been creating devices on the earth for thirty years. And I have never, never missed a connectivity that I have aimed for. And by God, I am not gonna miss this one.
----
You're talking in code. Can you be specific about the devices?
----
I will make the connection. I swear to God I will.
----
Thanks for replying, Beth. I won't be chatting with you anymore. Take care.
----
You take care of yourself.
Monday, October 4, 2010
new jersey devils, part 2
I haven't heard from you in a bit...
<<< enclosed picture >>>
----
Love the picture Beth, very cute. I had a busy weekend. I also don't know exactly how to use you for my website. It's a sports news site so fictional stories don't really fit into it. I am still brainstorming to try and figure something out.
----
Maybe a side feature could highlight it?
----
What do you mean by that? I am open to at least listening to your ideas.
----
Well I don't like to put any context around my work. I'm sure that if you published it as a news story people could draw their own conclusions.
----
I can't publish something as news if it is completely a fiction story.
---
But isn't most of sports reporting just fitting narrative to events with inherent randomness? In fiction, the only difference is the source of the randomness.
----
The articles on my site refer either to fact or opinion.
----
Take this paragraph from the posts on the Jets' win over the Pats:
<<< paragraph from G_____'s site >>>
Most of this is not just opinion but opinion about what storyline best fits what we saw and did not see. For some writers, half of their material seems to come from somewhere else -- like someone else writes it. And they just weave some kind of narrative into the parts that come from external sources.
Plus, don't you respect your readers enough to let them distinguish between fiction and non-fiction? Even the 'World Weekly News' does this.
----
Beth -
We could go back and forth on this all day. I am not trying to argue with you. I do completely enjoy your writing, I just don't think it's a fit for my website. I think you could definitely have a future in writing, even in sports. Maybe start up a fictional sports blog site based on stories like the one you sent me??
I do enjoy working with you and speaking with you. It is just my preference to not go in that direction with my site at this time.
----
Yes I've been thinking of starting a fictional blog but I'm not sure how to attract sports fans. We'll see. Maybe I'll try doing a sports opinion piece?
----
Beth -
Are you looking to do a fictional blog just on sports? Or in general? I am the Director of Operations of a sports blog network. If a fictional sports blog site is something you are truly interested in, I can run the idea by the other board members and see if they think they would want that on the network.
----
Hmm. Maybe run the idea by them. I'm interested in a fictional sports blog site but I would have to write about more of the material first.
----
Ok I threw him an email letting him know you are interested in possibly starting a fictional sports blog on the network. What exactly do you mean when you said you would have to write about more of the material first?
----
Well I have to think up the interviews and events and see how they go. That is the material. Then I have to write about that.
----
Ok, we'll I passed it along and will let you know what they say.
----
Okay. I'm thinking of doing a behind-the-scenes thing on the 2006 ESPY awards.
----
ok :)
----
Do you have blog-ring requirements for the number of posts per week or something like that?
----
They normally like to have each blogger write at least three articles per week. However since your site would be completely different then the normal sports site, it may be different. Once I get the info from the guys, I will let you know more details.
----
How many entries do you think you need to kick off a blog?
----
You can do one at a time, as long as you write consistently.
----
So you can start one with just one entry? Maybe I will build up a few before the big release so that people will be able to look at more than one piece on their first visit.
----
Beth -
The guys that run that site are intrigued and interested in seeing a sample of what your writing on the site may be like. Can you please put together an example? Maybe something like, your first experience at the US Open? Or something like that.
----
Good idea, I have begun a story about my first experience at the US Open.
----
Great. Thanks Beth
----
I have enclosed my first draft about a first experience at the US Open.
The First Experience at the US Open
by Beth M______
<<< Many years later, as she faced the human-resources consultants, Michelle Spurlock was to remember that distant afternoon when her father took her to discover tennis.
But today she practiced ice hockey for the first time. Her paternal grandfather, Magnus Spurlock, had dominated the sport decades hence and now his son and her father, also Magnus Spurlock, showed her the game.
In modern hockey, players glide on bladed shoes attempted to shoot a stubby cylinder into a net. Genetics and family secrets bestowed on Michelle a Tracy-Austin-like virtuosity with respect to (for short: wrt) the game of hockey, one whose traditional balance of power favored her male counterparts.
And her game wasn't girly either -- it reeked of a musky masculine aggression seldom seen outside of the towel-snapping confines of the proverbial locker room. She fought, she bit, she cross-checked. Magnus couldn't have been prouder.
But as she aged something happened. Boys treated her differently, like a wound caused by the bite of a rabid dog. And, although she had always been smaller than the players she was pulverizing, adolescence widened that gap. She could still compete, but she wasn't dominating. The opposition no longer feared her. The meanest boys teased her, calling her the type of player who had to change her pads several times every period.
So she went to her grandfather. She sat before Magnus, a great metaphor of a man who stood six feet and seven centimeters, even with the stoop his back had taken on due to decades of supporting shoulders like similes. He smiled and told her that, although he loved hockey, she may find herself more suited to another sport -- one where women had already won the battle of the sexes. And so he took her to a tournament.
A gust of wind foreshadowed their entrance to the World Tennis Association's august August tournament, the US Open. Watching tennis greats like Steffi Graf, Gabriela Sabatini, Wilfred Johnson, and Jim Courier, she was awed by the majesty of the sport. After the tournament, she spent days training her forehand and backhand and all of the hands in between. She set matches and served seconds and broke points and learned the ins and outs of the game. She developed a wicked lob shot and started winning tournaments.
But then as often happens something happened. Going to shake hands with her beaten opponent, hockey instincts took over. She grabbed the opponent's shirt's back and pulled it over her head. She tossed down her racket and gloves and started beating the poor tennis player like a pinata stuffed full of Pentium processors, which are incredibly valuable for their size and weight. Blood splattered out through all the relevant steradians and Michelle's tournament ended because of an esoteric rule infraction. Magnus, her father, smiled and he remembered with nostalgia his thirst for blood.
The next day, Michelle laced her skates up again in a local men's league. She had lost some of her quickness, but against the spotty competition there she fared well. That game she performed a hat trick. But sitting on the bench during the third period, she knew she would never attain the sport's highest honor of getting so drunk after winning an NHL title that she urinated in the Stanley Cup and she longed to go back to tennis. The coach soon would whistle her back onto the ice.
Before reaching that final line change, however, she had already understood that she would never leave the ice rink, because families condemned to one hundred years of hockey did not have a second opportunity in tennis. >>>
----
Beth -
I've passed along your story. What are you looking to get out of starting your own blog?
<<< enclosed picture >>>
----
Love the picture Beth, very cute. I had a busy weekend. I also don't know exactly how to use you for my website. It's a sports news site so fictional stories don't really fit into it. I am still brainstorming to try and figure something out.
----
Maybe a side feature could highlight it?
----
What do you mean by that? I am open to at least listening to your ideas.
----
Well I don't like to put any context around my work. I'm sure that if you published it as a news story people could draw their own conclusions.
----
I can't publish something as news if it is completely a fiction story.
---
But isn't most of sports reporting just fitting narrative to events with inherent randomness? In fiction, the only difference is the source of the randomness.
----
The articles on my site refer either to fact or opinion.
----
Take this paragraph from the posts on the Jets' win over the Pats:
<<< paragraph from G_____'s site >>>
Most of this is not just opinion but opinion about what storyline best fits what we saw and did not see. For some writers, half of their material seems to come from somewhere else -- like someone else writes it. And they just weave some kind of narrative into the parts that come from external sources.
Plus, don't you respect your readers enough to let them distinguish between fiction and non-fiction? Even the 'World Weekly News' does this.
----
Beth -
We could go back and forth on this all day. I am not trying to argue with you. I do completely enjoy your writing, I just don't think it's a fit for my website. I think you could definitely have a future in writing, even in sports. Maybe start up a fictional sports blog site based on stories like the one you sent me??
I do enjoy working with you and speaking with you. It is just my preference to not go in that direction with my site at this time.
----
Yes I've been thinking of starting a fictional blog but I'm not sure how to attract sports fans. We'll see. Maybe I'll try doing a sports opinion piece?
----
Beth -
Are you looking to do a fictional blog just on sports? Or in general? I am the Director of Operations of a sports blog network. If a fictional sports blog site is something you are truly interested in, I can run the idea by the other board members and see if they think they would want that on the network.
----
Hmm. Maybe run the idea by them. I'm interested in a fictional sports blog site but I would have to write about more of the material first.
----
Ok I threw him an email letting him know you are interested in possibly starting a fictional sports blog on the network. What exactly do you mean when you said you would have to write about more of the material first?
----
Well I have to think up the interviews and events and see how they go. That is the material. Then I have to write about that.
----
Ok, we'll I passed it along and will let you know what they say.
----
Okay. I'm thinking of doing a behind-the-scenes thing on the 2006 ESPY awards.
----
ok :)
----
Do you have blog-ring requirements for the number of posts per week or something like that?
----
They normally like to have each blogger write at least three articles per week. However since your site would be completely different then the normal sports site, it may be different. Once I get the info from the guys, I will let you know more details.
----
How many entries do you think you need to kick off a blog?
----
You can do one at a time, as long as you write consistently.
----
So you can start one with just one entry? Maybe I will build up a few before the big release so that people will be able to look at more than one piece on their first visit.
----
Beth -
The guys that run that site are intrigued and interested in seeing a sample of what your writing on the site may be like. Can you please put together an example? Maybe something like, your first experience at the US Open? Or something like that.
----
Good idea, I have begun a story about my first experience at the US Open.
----
Great. Thanks Beth
----
I have enclosed my first draft about a first experience at the US Open.
The First Experience at the US Open
by Beth M______
<<< Many years later, as she faced the human-resources consultants, Michelle Spurlock was to remember that distant afternoon when her father took her to discover tennis.
But today she practiced ice hockey for the first time. Her paternal grandfather, Magnus Spurlock, had dominated the sport decades hence and now his son and her father, also Magnus Spurlock, showed her the game.
In modern hockey, players glide on bladed shoes attempted to shoot a stubby cylinder into a net. Genetics and family secrets bestowed on Michelle a Tracy-Austin-like virtuosity with respect to (for short: wrt) the game of hockey, one whose traditional balance of power favored her male counterparts.
And her game wasn't girly either -- it reeked of a musky masculine aggression seldom seen outside of the towel-snapping confines of the proverbial locker room. She fought, she bit, she cross-checked. Magnus couldn't have been prouder.
But as she aged something happened. Boys treated her differently, like a wound caused by the bite of a rabid dog. And, although she had always been smaller than the players she was pulverizing, adolescence widened that gap. She could still compete, but she wasn't dominating. The opposition no longer feared her. The meanest boys teased her, calling her the type of player who had to change her pads several times every period.
So she went to her grandfather. She sat before Magnus, a great metaphor of a man who stood six feet and seven centimeters, even with the stoop his back had taken on due to decades of supporting shoulders like similes. He smiled and told her that, although he loved hockey, she may find herself more suited to another sport -- one where women had already won the battle of the sexes. And so he took her to a tournament.
A gust of wind foreshadowed their entrance to the World Tennis Association's august August tournament, the US Open. Watching tennis greats like Steffi Graf, Gabriela Sabatini, Wilfred Johnson, and Jim Courier, she was awed by the majesty of the sport. After the tournament, she spent days training her forehand and backhand and all of the hands in between. She set matches and served seconds and broke points and learned the ins and outs of the game. She developed a wicked lob shot and started winning tournaments.
But then as often happens something happened. Going to shake hands with her beaten opponent, hockey instincts took over. She grabbed the opponent's shirt's back and pulled it over her head. She tossed down her racket and gloves and started beating the poor tennis player like a pinata stuffed full of Pentium processors, which are incredibly valuable for their size and weight. Blood splattered out through all the relevant steradians and Michelle's tournament ended because of an esoteric rule infraction. Magnus, her father, smiled and he remembered with nostalgia his thirst for blood.
The next day, Michelle laced her skates up again in a local men's league. She had lost some of her quickness, but against the spotty competition there she fared well. That game she performed a hat trick. But sitting on the bench during the third period, she knew she would never attain the sport's highest honor of getting so drunk after winning an NHL title that she urinated in the Stanley Cup and she longed to go back to tennis. The coach soon would whistle her back onto the ice.
Before reaching that final line change, however, she had already understood that she would never leave the ice rink, because families condemned to one hundred years of hockey did not have a second opportunity in tennis. >>>
----
Beth -
I've passed along your story. What are you looking to get out of starting your own blog?
breast-enhancing hypnosis
craigslist ad: Scientifically proven natural breast enhancement with hypnosis!
----
Hello:
I'm interested in hypnosis-based breast augmentation. How does it work?
Thanks, Beth
----
Beth,
Please call for the details. To much info to send in email.
R_____
----
I would prefer to have my questions answered over email if that is okay. Here are a few:
How much size can one expect to gain? How much does the procedure cost? Is the change reversible? Are sessions required to maintain the change? Is there any danger associated with hypnosis?
Thanks, Beth
----
Beth,
I will do my best I can with your questions briefly.
How much size can one expect to gain? One to two sizes. But as with all hypnosis programs, we cannot guarantee results.
How much does the procedure cost? $500.00 Three regular session and a follow up review. Subject to change.
Is the change reversible? Never had that question before. Unknown.
Are sessions required to maintain the change? Not sessions but cds are given to be used over a period of several months.
Is there any danger associated with hypnosis? No. Please review my website for more information on our FAQ page. Also our sessions and fee page (this program is not part of our regular price program).
Best wishes,
R_____
----
One to two size? Does this mean cup or strap sizes?
You don't guarantee results but do you still charge if the size stays the same?
----
Beth,
Evidence states that you can have up to two cup sizes. We cannot guarantee results and the price is the same. Do doctors guarantee results when you go to them? No and they are still paid. I work hard to help you make this happen. I deserve to be compensated for my work. By thinking this way you put no value on my services. If you don't value them, you don't accept that this can happen. Success or failure is really up to you. There is a psycologial factor of expectations of success when you pay for something. Are you thinking, well I'll give it a try and if doesn't work, no problem. In doing this, you are not really committed. Your commitment to the process, to the sessions, to the dedication of listening to the recording faithfully and knowing you are financially invested, give you the highest chance of success. I know this is not what you want to hear. I sincerely hope you find what you are looking for.
Best wishes,
R_____
p.s. Please call if you have any more questions.
----
Plastic surgeons often do guarantee that breast size will change.
I will outline my concerns. As with many women, I will not be the one to pay for or enjoy the fruits of the augmentation. Of course I want the results -- what girl wouldn't want to unlock the power of her mind to enhance the size of her breasts? However the person who would pay for the procedure (hereinafter, the 'bursar') may not cough up the loot without measurable results. He would accuse me of just wanting the money for myself. But I would be committed to it.
If you are worried about the compensation being on average lower, maybe we could work something out. $500 is cheap for results. What success rate is typical? Maybe if 80% of clients see measurable results, I could pay you $1000 if the procedure bore fruit. That way you would get, on average, 80% of $1000, an amount that is $750. Or we could work out something similar.
I will take this journey recording faithfully my progress and adherence to the program but sometimes things ain't always what it's supposed to be.
Sending all my love along the wire, Beth
----
Hello:
I'm interested in hypnosis-based breast augmentation. How does it work?
Thanks, Beth
----
Beth,
Please call for the details. To much info to send in email.
R_____
----
I would prefer to have my questions answered over email if that is okay. Here are a few:
How much size can one expect to gain? How much does the procedure cost? Is the change reversible? Are sessions required to maintain the change? Is there any danger associated with hypnosis?
Thanks, Beth
----
Beth,
I will do my best I can with your questions briefly.
How much size can one expect to gain? One to two sizes. But as with all hypnosis programs, we cannot guarantee results.
How much does the procedure cost? $500.00 Three regular session and a follow up review. Subject to change.
Is the change reversible? Never had that question before. Unknown.
Are sessions required to maintain the change? Not sessions but cds are given to be used over a period of several months.
Is there any danger associated with hypnosis? No. Please review my website for more information on our FAQ page. Also our sessions and fee page (this program is not part of our regular price program).
Best wishes,
R_____
----
One to two size? Does this mean cup or strap sizes?
You don't guarantee results but do you still charge if the size stays the same?
----
Beth,
Evidence states that you can have up to two cup sizes. We cannot guarantee results and the price is the same. Do doctors guarantee results when you go to them? No and they are still paid. I work hard to help you make this happen. I deserve to be compensated for my work. By thinking this way you put no value on my services. If you don't value them, you don't accept that this can happen. Success or failure is really up to you. There is a psycologial factor of expectations of success when you pay for something. Are you thinking, well I'll give it a try and if doesn't work, no problem. In doing this, you are not really committed. Your commitment to the process, to the sessions, to the dedication of listening to the recording faithfully and knowing you are financially invested, give you the highest chance of success. I know this is not what you want to hear. I sincerely hope you find what you are looking for.
Best wishes,
R_____
p.s. Please call if you have any more questions.
----
Plastic surgeons often do guarantee that breast size will change.
I will outline my concerns. As with many women, I will not be the one to pay for or enjoy the fruits of the augmentation. Of course I want the results -- what girl wouldn't want to unlock the power of her mind to enhance the size of her breasts? However the person who would pay for the procedure (hereinafter, the 'bursar') may not cough up the loot without measurable results. He would accuse me of just wanting the money for myself. But I would be committed to it.
If you are worried about the compensation being on average lower, maybe we could work something out. $500 is cheap for results. What success rate is typical? Maybe if 80% of clients see measurable results, I could pay you $1000 if the procedure bore fruit. That way you would get, on average, 80% of $1000, an amount that is $750. Or we could work out something similar.
I will take this journey recording faithfully my progress and adherence to the program but sometimes things ain't always what it's supposed to be.
Sending all my love along the wire, Beth
Thursday, September 30, 2010
the religious play, part 1 (sequel to 'the religious book')
craigslist ad: looking for a Church
We have a few productuions coming out in the next three months. we perform insparational plays. we are looking for churches where we can perform our plays at.
if you know of a church that is a nice size and that rent their facilties for shows. please forward the location, contact information to me please. we look forward to hearing from you
----
Hello:
I am in charge of church programming at a medium-size church in B_______, XX. Could you tell me a bit more about your inspirational plays?
Thanks, Beth
----
Hello:
Thank you for contacting T_____ Productions. Our inspirational plays cover various issues in today's society and utilizes the Word of God to effect the outcome of each situation. We have also taken biblical stories and brought them to life in order to show Gods Word is the same yesterday today and forever. God has given me the ability to minister to a wide range of age groups from the teenage to the grandmother, Pastors to the congregations. From HE'S STILL A MAN TO WHAT KIND OF LOVE IS THIS. A GRANDMOTHERS PRAYER TO LORD MAKE ME OVER AND SO MUCH MORE.
Please feel free to visit our website at _______.com or if there is a particular play you see listed that you would like to know the story line for you can contact me via email or at XXX*XXX*XXXX.
T______ _________
CHANGING LIVES ONE PLAY AT A TIME!
I believe that
----
T____:
Due to the forces at work within our congregation, we need some real fire-and-brimstone stuff. Is anything of that nature within your repertoire?
Yours, Beth
----
I would need a little more detail as to what forces you are dealing with. For instance What kind of Love is this will take you on an adventure most will cast judgment but in the end ask themselves is that the way they have treated God. It is based on the story the prophet Hosea. On the other hand i have He's Still a Man which deal with a Pastor who comes under attack and while he is tending to the needs of the church and church people he forgets about the needs of his wife and he comes under attack by the spirit of Jezebel. The church is talking but there is no one praying. for leadership. That's just to name a few.
When you say forces and would need to know the type. I know many churches come under attack with Jezebel, Tithes and Offering, lack of prayer, homosexuality and unforgiveness, lack of father figures and the effects on families, losing our young men to gang violence. I have plays that address all of the above.
----
Miracles impress our congregation more than they should. It seems just strange to me that so many Christians are doting on their own “salvation”, that they fail to recognize, and appreciate, the people and things around them. Financial concerns force our minister to use more and more elaborate miracles stories. We're hoping to have a third party come instill a healthy fear of hell so that he can get back to talking about values and won't have to rely on the fantastic (in the classic sense). Do you understand me?
----
Good day Sister Beth
Our plays deal more with showing God’s point of view on our actions. For instance For the Love of Money shows how money is not the answer to all of our problems. Money can’t heal us and when we make money our God. We will spend all of it trying to get health which God has already promised through the stripes of his son to all of His children.
We also have What Kind of Love is This which deals with a wife who seeks wordly posessions and her husband who is always preaching about the love of God is actually tested when he finds her about to sell her body for money.
We find the best way to get people to see what they are doing is by showing them what God has sacrificed for us and this is how we say thank you.
I think either of these plays will cause anyone stop and think about how ungrateful we can become. please email me soon
----
I'm sure you know that most Christians, and Christian speakers, are self centered. Looking to save themselves. And telling other people how to save themselves. So we're looking to get away from dazzling the congregation with magick and miracle and get back to telling them the decisions that they should be making.
The prostitution play interests me. Does it refer to damnation and the hell the harlot risks?
----
What Kind Of Love Is This
is taken right from the book of hosea when God told the prophet to marry a Harlot to show our hearts
getting us to turn from our own ways.
maybe your looknig for something i have been worknig on how shall you answer giving us a real look into what life would be if we ended up in hell though everyone think they are going to heaven
what denomination do you belong to? what is the name of your church
*
How shall you answer a stage play to get all believers to see you can walk around with bitterness and unforgiveness in your hear and thing everything is going to be ok one day you may wake up in hell though you think you going to heaven
----
In my opinion, a stage play provides the perfect medium to teach our congregation about this topic from the stage. Everyone wants to see real miracles. Well if it seems to be real, it's illusion. For every moment of truth, there's confusion in life. I could go on and on and on about heaven and hell. But you understand what we need, right?
Beth
----
Ok
we have (what kind of love is this) as well as (for the love of money)
i guess at this point your church would consider what kind of love is this
can you please forward the following information so we can move forward with this project
when are you looking to have us to perform date and time ?
size of the church?
the amount of people in the congregation?
will this be a fundraiser?
do you guys have a sound system?
when can we look at the location of the venue please email me soon with
----
I want to know what 'What Kind of Love Is This' is; I want you to tell me.
We don't have a date set yet, but we want to move fast. I'm worried that we're losing people unless we come up with more and more awesome miracles to tell them about. I worry that they are missing the real miracles we have going around us every day. In our families. Little treasures that God gives us to make life bearable.
----
ok I tell you what give me a call to discuss more please again tell us the name of your church and how many members. or better yet if you was making a play what would it be about. i can make something dealing with the issues in your chruch but i need to have alot more details then the emails we have going on. give me how soon you are looking to do it and would you guys sale tickets etc... this information i need to know.
the size of the church if there is a stage or not please email me soon or contact me
call XXX XXX XXXX t___
----
Two hundred members would watch the performance. We have a stage and a sound system. But let us settle the content first.
If I wrote a play, it would show how no minor sins exist. I would show God damning people for sins without accounting for their severity. Or I would write about the human lives of Jesus and Mary. There were no miracles in the Holy Family. NONE. No moving of mountains. No healing the sick. Just two young people, trying to figure out what to do, in an absolutely weird situation, and flying by the seats of their pants.
But I want to know what your play is about. I reiterate: I want to know what 'What Kind of Love Is This' is; I want you to show me.
Yours, Beth
----
I pray this is enough information for you
about our play
this is the question the minister is left with at the end but it is the question he ask the people of God. What Kind of Love is this that we show the father
<<< enclosed: Synopsis – WHAT KIND OF LOVE IS THIS
Harold a God fearing man-loving husband- devoted father....
>>>
----
Wait one second. She cheats on him because he is gay? Our church does not allow homosexuality, even on the stage.
----
??no this story is taken from the life of hosea the profit
( he is not gay)she runs to her many lovers --meaning lovers of this world hints like the people of God run to their many lovers. please give me a call to discuss further want to help show Gods word through plays with you but not sure we are on the same page exaclty
XXX-XXX-XXXX
----
Oh I thought you said he was a man-loving, husband-devoted father?
----
Harold a God fearing man-loving husband- devoted fathe
*
Good day Sister we are still waiting for information about your church
----
Wow okay. You mean that he is a God-fearing man, loving husband, and devoted father. I gotta take a little time -- a little time to think it over. I better read between the lines. Also I should talk to the minister about it before we make any big decisions.
----
sure no problem
_________.com for more information
~~~~
meanwhile,
Hello:
I'm wondering if someone on your staff is interested in seeing a play called "What Kind of Love Is This." The play deals with a wife who seeks wordly posessions and her husband who is always preaching about the love of God is actually tested when he finds her about to sell her body for money. We will compensate you for your time.
Thanks, Beth
We have a few productuions coming out in the next three months. we perform insparational plays. we are looking for churches where we can perform our plays at.
if you know of a church that is a nice size and that rent their facilties for shows. please forward the location, contact information to me please. we look forward to hearing from you
----
Hello:
I am in charge of church programming at a medium-size church in B_______, XX. Could you tell me a bit more about your inspirational plays?
Thanks, Beth
----
Hello:
Thank you for contacting T_____ Productions. Our inspirational plays cover various issues in today's society and utilizes the Word of God to effect the outcome of each situation. We have also taken biblical stories and brought them to life in order to show Gods Word is the same yesterday today and forever. God has given me the ability to minister to a wide range of age groups from the teenage to the grandmother, Pastors to the congregations. From HE'S STILL A MAN TO WHAT KIND OF LOVE IS THIS. A GRANDMOTHERS PRAYER TO LORD MAKE ME OVER AND SO MUCH MORE.
Please feel free to visit our website at _______.com or if there is a particular play you see listed that you would like to know the story line for you can contact me via email or at XXX*XXX*XXXX.
T______ _________
CHANGING LIVES ONE PLAY AT A TIME!
I believe that
----
T____:
Due to the forces at work within our congregation, we need some real fire-and-brimstone stuff. Is anything of that nature within your repertoire?
Yours, Beth
----
I would need a little more detail as to what forces you are dealing with. For instance What kind of Love is this will take you on an adventure most will cast judgment but in the end ask themselves is that the way they have treated God. It is based on the story the prophet Hosea. On the other hand i have He's Still a Man which deal with a Pastor who comes under attack and while he is tending to the needs of the church and church people he forgets about the needs of his wife and he comes under attack by the spirit of Jezebel. The church is talking but there is no one praying. for leadership. That's just to name a few.
When you say forces and would need to know the type. I know many churches come under attack with Jezebel, Tithes and Offering, lack of prayer, homosexuality and unforgiveness, lack of father figures and the effects on families, losing our young men to gang violence. I have plays that address all of the above.
----
Miracles impress our congregation more than they should. It seems just strange to me that so many Christians are doting on their own “salvation”, that they fail to recognize, and appreciate, the people and things around them. Financial concerns force our minister to use more and more elaborate miracles stories. We're hoping to have a third party come instill a healthy fear of hell so that he can get back to talking about values and won't have to rely on the fantastic (in the classic sense). Do you understand me?
----
Good day Sister Beth
Our plays deal more with showing God’s point of view on our actions. For instance For the Love of Money shows how money is not the answer to all of our problems. Money can’t heal us and when we make money our God. We will spend all of it trying to get health which God has already promised through the stripes of his son to all of His children.
We also have What Kind of Love is This which deals with a wife who seeks wordly posessions and her husband who is always preaching about the love of God is actually tested when he finds her about to sell her body for money.
We find the best way to get people to see what they are doing is by showing them what God has sacrificed for us and this is how we say thank you.
I think either of these plays will cause anyone stop and think about how ungrateful we can become. please email me soon
----
I'm sure you know that most Christians, and Christian speakers, are self centered. Looking to save themselves. And telling other people how to save themselves. So we're looking to get away from dazzling the congregation with magick and miracle and get back to telling them the decisions that they should be making.
The prostitution play interests me. Does it refer to damnation and the hell the harlot risks?
----
What Kind Of Love Is This
is taken right from the book of hosea when God told the prophet to marry a Harlot to show our hearts
getting us to turn from our own ways.
maybe your looknig for something i have been worknig on how shall you answer giving us a real look into what life would be if we ended up in hell though everyone think they are going to heaven
what denomination do you belong to? what is the name of your church
*
How shall you answer a stage play to get all believers to see you can walk around with bitterness and unforgiveness in your hear and thing everything is going to be ok one day you may wake up in hell though you think you going to heaven
----
In my opinion, a stage play provides the perfect medium to teach our congregation about this topic from the stage. Everyone wants to see real miracles. Well if it seems to be real, it's illusion. For every moment of truth, there's confusion in life. I could go on and on and on about heaven and hell. But you understand what we need, right?
Beth
----
Ok
we have (what kind of love is this) as well as (for the love of money)
i guess at this point your church would consider what kind of love is this
can you please forward the following information so we can move forward with this project
when are you looking to have us to perform date and time ?
size of the church?
the amount of people in the congregation?
will this be a fundraiser?
do you guys have a sound system?
when can we look at the location of the venue please email me soon with
----
I want to know what 'What Kind of Love Is This' is; I want you to tell me.
We don't have a date set yet, but we want to move fast. I'm worried that we're losing people unless we come up with more and more awesome miracles to tell them about. I worry that they are missing the real miracles we have going around us every day. In our families. Little treasures that God gives us to make life bearable.
----
ok I tell you what give me a call to discuss more please again tell us the name of your church and how many members. or better yet if you was making a play what would it be about. i can make something dealing with the issues in your chruch but i need to have alot more details then the emails we have going on. give me how soon you are looking to do it and would you guys sale tickets etc... this information i need to know.
the size of the church if there is a stage or not please email me soon or contact me
call XXX XXX XXXX t___
----
Two hundred members would watch the performance. We have a stage and a sound system. But let us settle the content first.
If I wrote a play, it would show how no minor sins exist. I would show God damning people for sins without accounting for their severity. Or I would write about the human lives of Jesus and Mary. There were no miracles in the Holy Family. NONE. No moving of mountains. No healing the sick. Just two young people, trying to figure out what to do, in an absolutely weird situation, and flying by the seats of their pants.
But I want to know what your play is about. I reiterate: I want to know what 'What Kind of Love Is This' is; I want you to show me.
Yours, Beth
----
I pray this is enough information for you
about our play
this is the question the minister is left with at the end but it is the question he ask the people of God. What Kind of Love is this that we show the father
<<< enclosed: Synopsis – WHAT KIND OF LOVE IS THIS
Harold a God fearing man-loving husband- devoted father....
>>>
----
Wait one second. She cheats on him because he is gay? Our church does not allow homosexuality, even on the stage.
----
??no this story is taken from the life of hosea the profit
( he is not gay)she runs to her many lovers --meaning lovers of this world hints like the people of God run to their many lovers. please give me a call to discuss further want to help show Gods word through plays with you but not sure we are on the same page exaclty
XXX-XXX-XXXX
----
Oh I thought you said he was a man-loving, husband-devoted father?
----
Harold a God fearing man-loving husband- devoted fathe
*
Good day Sister we are still waiting for information about your church
----
Wow okay. You mean that he is a God-fearing man, loving husband, and devoted father. I gotta take a little time -- a little time to think it over. I better read between the lines. Also I should talk to the minister about it before we make any big decisions.
----
sure no problem
_________.com for more information
~~~~
meanwhile,
Hello:
I'm wondering if someone on your staff is interested in seeing a play called "What Kind of Love Is This." The play deals with a wife who seeks wordly posessions and her husband who is always preaching about the love of God is actually tested when he finds her about to sell her body for money. We will compensate you for your time.
Thanks, Beth
missing computer stand
craigslist ad in the 'free' section: Computer stand--GONE
----
Hello:
Could I possibly come by to take a look at where the computer stand used to be?
I may be of some assistance in locating it.
Yours, Beth
----
WHAT are you talking about it was FREE meaning GIVING IT AWAY why would I want to know where it is ???????
----
Thanks for your response. Is there any kind of reward for relocating the stand? That would help make this case a priority, but I'll work without one. I'm trying to create awareness for my services.
Yours, Beth
----
Hello:
Could I possibly come by to take a look at where the computer stand used to be?
I may be of some assistance in locating it.
Yours, Beth
----
WHAT are you talking about it was FREE meaning GIVING IT AWAY why would I want to know where it is ???????
----
Thanks for your response. Is there any kind of reward for relocating the stand? That would help make this case a priority, but I'll work without one. I'm trying to create awareness for my services.
Yours, Beth
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
new jersey devils, part 1
craigslist ad: Writer Needed: New Jersey Devils
Local sports blog website is seeking someone to write about the New Jersey Devils. Knowledge of hockey required.
The blog site focuses on NY and NJ sports teams. This is a non-paying opportunity, however you will be credited as the author of each article you write.
For more information please respond to this ad.
Other writing positions available:
New York Rangers
New York Mets
New York Jets
Rutgers Athletics (Non-Football)
New Jersey Nets
New York Knicks
Seton Hall Pirates Athletics
New Jersey High School Sports
----
Hello:
I am interested in writing stories about the New Jersey Devil. Would you like a sample piece to consider me for the position?
Cheers, Beth
----
Beth -
I do currently have someone writing about the Devils. However, I am not opposed to having another as well. If you would like to send some samples I will gladly take a look. Also, are you interested in any other team, or just the Devils?
G______ _________ | Owner
_______ Sports| E: ____________@_____.com
P: XXX-XXX-XXXX | | www._________.com
----
G______:
I will send you a story by the end of this week.
Cheers, Beth
----
G______:
I enclose my draft of a Devil story. I hope that you enjoy it.
Beth
<<<
Love on the Turnpike: The Story of the New Jersey Devil
by Beth M______
On the blackest night in recent memory, Michelle Spurlock drove down the Jersey Turnpike. But, alas, her car, a 1789 Dodge Windstar, encountered difficulties. Feelings hit her like a windsock swinging as the wind changed from North-East to North-West were she to have been standing North of the windsock’s axis of rotation. She knew the legend of the New Jersey Devil. She knew that, unless she was a questing paladin, this was the worst stretch of highway for car trouble.
The New Jersey Devil, that giant beaked lizard whose gaze turns men to stone, inhabits the woods near the Jersey turnpike. And on this particular night intensity and raw palpability of emotion swirled together to form a vortex of terror that matched the Perfect Storm made famous in a movie with George Clooney and based on a book by Sebastian Junger who studied at Wesleyan University. As you, gentle reader, sit in your armchair stroking a mink or marmoset or ferret or other exotic animal with your hot chocolate or mulled wine in front of a fire, you cannot possibly imagine the trepidation and apprehension being pumped through her circulatory system, which was known to circulate fluids but not yet emotions through the human body centuries before the birth of God.
And her car did break down. A blown gasket, a missing catalytic converter—stolen and sold, and a scuffed hubcap reduced her car to Flinstonian levels of utility. As she had suspected in the deepest ventricles or atria of her heart, that great nexus of the circulatory system, the Devil emerged from the woods. Unlike the lizard she had heard tales of, this Devil looked like a giant, cloven man with blood dripping from its mouth. If the face provides a window to the soul, the Devil’s eyes gave Michelle Spurlock porthole-like fenestra to view the infernos of Hell.
But then something happened. The Devil spoke to her and told her she misunderstood it. That even though it was a terrifying beast, it had emotions and an interesting circulatory system that provided oxygen to even its most remote extremities, one of which it was right now pumping blood into in order to in anticipation of—based on Michelle Spurlock’s visual response to its advances—making the beast with two backs if you know what I’m saying.
So that great cloven beast humped Michelle Spurlock in the woods, where she eventually wound up living. Of course this shows that when two cultures collide, unlike the Native Americans who were wiped out by disease and booze when Columbo arrived with automatic weapons, occasionally love wins.
>>>
----
Beth -
I think we misunderstood each other. I was looking for sports writers, with the New Jersey Devils hockey team being one of the teams to cover.
With that being said, I did enjoy your short draft of a story about the New Jersey Devil. I can't do anything with that since my website is a sports blog. You do write very well and would love to read more of your stories.
Sorry about the miscommunication.
----
Okay I didn't even realize that there was a hockey team bearing that name. Would you like me to write a story about them for your blog?
----
Beth -
Not sure how you would write a story about them if you don't know anything about the team.
Mind me asking how old you are? Where you are from? stuff like that.
----
G______:
I am capable of rabidly researching any topic to become acquainted with its obvious subtleties. Should I begin work on this team?
I'm 23 years old and living in the ______ ______, which is a rock throw from New Jersey.
Beth
----
Beth -
I would prefer someone that is a fan of the team and has inside knowledge of it. Thank you for your interest however.
----
G______:
What if I could write about an interview with one of the stars of the New Jersey Devils?
Beth
----
What do you mean? How would you interview one of them?
----
Getting the interview is my task. Would you like a story featuring such an interview?
----
If you can honestly get an interview with a New Jersey Devils player, I would be happy to feature it on my site.
----
Okay, I'll take that as a 'yes' and get right to work.
----
Beth, just out of curiosity....do you have a picture of yourself that I can see?
----
I'll send a picture along with the story.
----
ok
----
G______:
I enclosed the first part of the story. I'll send the next as soon as I can depending on how tomorrow goes.
Cheers, Beth
<<<
The Ilya Kovalchuk Story Part 1: Getting the Interview, Breeching the Whale
by Beth M______
Today I created a false virtual identity on the internet, the world’s most famous e-platform, to dupe a hockey star into granting me an interview. I had been assigned the task of getting an interview with one of the New Jersey Devils to secure a paid position with the elite _______ sports blog. With this assignment, I wanted to impress. I wanted to land the biggest fish they have: Ilya Kovalchuk, a God-like killing machine who inflicts mortal wounds on his foes every time he laces his skates and steps on the hockey field.
Getting to Kovalchuk would not be easy. First, I crafted a twitter under the alias Michelle Spurlock. I requested to follow Kovalchuk. He added me within fifteen minutes. Now I know that he has hundreds of adoring fans, so to get a personal audience I would have to bring out the big guns. Not to worry—this was not my first rodeo or my first time using twitter to gain a personal audience with a minor celebrity.
I used my own picture for Michelle Spurlock’s profile because I wanted him to recognize me when we met in person. To ensure that I would catch this monster marlin, I baited the hook with a ménage a trois. And with my message enclosed a picture of reporter and hottie and subject of recent Jets controversy Ines Sainz. Later, I plan to argue that using a reporter’s image in the solicitation grants me license to publish anything he says at our meeting. Although the message is too salacious for the ________ sports blog’s gentle readers, the offer was clear enough: meet two women at a hotel for some drinks and good times.
As luck and its slow-mutant uncle fate would have it, Kovalchuk must have been online. He messaged back within twenty minutes and asked for more pictures. I found a few of Sainz and used a few of myself from a recent beach trip. He asked for one of us together and for some dirtier photographs. Although I spent half an hour on google images without employing its SafeSearch feature, I couldn’t find nude images of Sainz. But I sent him a few of myself to secure the meeting.
And just when I thought the cookie had crumbled into the shards of a mirror reflecting broken dreams, something happened in a major way. He sent me a time and a hotel name. The date loomed with raw, unchecked immediacy—it was the next day. The hotel, a Manhattan standard, was accessible and expensive.
But how would I prepare to meet this enormous tuna known as the Kovalchuk? Would he have the heart and backing circulatory system to hold up his word? And how would he react to Sainz not being there? Would he answer my questions? What would I wear? Would he take me to the hotel room when he found out that I was not Michelle Spurlock but a grit-toothed reporter on a mission to get a story?
>>>
*
G______:
I include the second part as well as a picture. This has been a great assignment. What should I work on next?
Beth
<<<
The Ilya Kovalchuk Story Part 2: Interviewing a Humungous Halibut
by Beth M______
With nerves aflutter and knees of butter, I waited in a massive hotel lobby to reel in a massive fish that I had caught on twitter. I waited to interview Ilya Kovalchuk, star of the New Jersey hockey team nicknamed the Devils.
My heart beat like a metronome, changing pace as the tides of my nerves rolled in and out and pumping blood through my circulatory system and hands and feet. I wondered if the star player would show up. I started to worry that maybe his twitter account was a fake and that the person who showed up would be some smelly dude or, worse, his wife. Or maybe that when he showed up he would leave when Ives Sainz wasn’t with me. Or he wouldn’t answer questions.
Seconds passed and became minutes, which passed to become hours. I ate two finger bowls of salty snacks and worked my way through two whiskey sours. I worried about my shirt and checked my makeup countless times. I worried and twice caught myself about to chew my nails. Finally I thought he wouldn’t show up and I almost left.
But then something happened like a wild lightning bolt striking a predator in a hurricane and leaving it in flames under the stars. Ninety minutes late, the fish walked out of the water and into the hotel lobby. Hot blood circulated through my system and I jumped up to meet him.
Ilya Kovalchuk stands six foot two and cuts an imposing figure even while trying to look anonymous. He wore a low hat and dark glasses with a loose jacket over brown pants. He asked me, “you Michelle?”
“If you want me to be,” I replied.
He asked if we should go up to the room. But I had not gotten one, so I stalled and asked him to buy me a drink first. Plus you would think he could afford the room—he makes six million dollars per year.
“Only have hour,” he said. I ignored him and ordered another whiskey sour.
“Where other girl?” he asked.
“She’s waiting up in the room,” I said.
When I asked about hockey about a dozen times, his longest reply was, “hockey good.” More often, he said nothing or grunted. After sitting for five minutes he stood up. I panicked, thinking that he would leave. But he walked over to a corner and pulled down his pants. I started to walk over to him, but he sat on the edge of a large potted plant. He concentrated and farted. I watched as furrowed his brow, looked at the ground, and crapped into the plant.
After he finished without applying standard bathroom-cleanliness procedures, he said, “go room.” He grabbed my arm and pulled me to the elevator. A group of twenty kids wearing neon orange field-trip t-shirts and chaperoned by two exasperated and underpaid twentysomethings walked into the lobby. As we rode the elevator up to a floor that he chose, he stood against the glass facing the lobby.
And then something happened like a king winging a sabre at a Canadian senator wearing a blue jacket in the blues capital of the world and the canuck ducking. He was concentrating again and working with his pants. As we ascended, he exposed his shriveled pecker to the spellbound middle-school students sprinkled throughout the lobby. One pointed. A chaperone hung his head, shamed by his own failure to shield the kids from indecency. When the elevator stopped before our destination to allow other passengers, I ran.
I have not seen Ilya Kovalchuk, killing machine on the hockey field and mongoloid pervert off of it, since I fled that elevator.
>>>
----
Great story..love how you wrote it. Is that picture really of you? Or just the character in the story?
----
Yes that is me. If you like, I can also send the picture of Ines Sainz.
When do you intend to feature the story on your site? Maybe to coincide with the start of the season?
----
I will try to find an appropriate time to feature it.
Have to admit, I am curious what would have happened if you ended up in the room lol.
And no need for the Ines pics, I know what she looks like. Just wanted to know if that was truly you. Maybe I should ask for the same pics Ilya did lol
----
Laughing out loud -- I know what happens to girls when they send pics like that to popular bloggers.
----
Oh yea? Whats that?
----
I have enclosed the equivalent of 1010 words on the subject. 1011 if you count both sides of a contraction.
----
haha. Where do you live again?
----
I'm in _______. But close to NJ.
----
I am throwing around the idea of having a model for my site. Would you be interested?
----
I would like to have a few published stories under your belt first so that I would be assured that I'm being taken seriously.
Local sports blog website is seeking someone to write about the New Jersey Devils. Knowledge of hockey required.
The blog site focuses on NY and NJ sports teams. This is a non-paying opportunity, however you will be credited as the author of each article you write.
For more information please respond to this ad.
Other writing positions available:
New York Rangers
New York Mets
New York Jets
Rutgers Athletics (Non-Football)
New Jersey Nets
New York Knicks
Seton Hall Pirates Athletics
New Jersey High School Sports
----
Hello:
I am interested in writing stories about the New Jersey Devil. Would you like a sample piece to consider me for the position?
Cheers, Beth
----
Beth -
I do currently have someone writing about the Devils. However, I am not opposed to having another as well. If you would like to send some samples I will gladly take a look. Also, are you interested in any other team, or just the Devils?
G______ _________ | Owner
_______ Sports| E: ____________@_____.com
P: XXX-XXX-XXXX | | www._________.com
----
G______:
I will send you a story by the end of this week.
Cheers, Beth
----
G______:
I enclose my draft of a Devil story. I hope that you enjoy it.
Beth
<<<
Love on the Turnpike: The Story of the New Jersey Devil
by Beth M______
On the blackest night in recent memory, Michelle Spurlock drove down the Jersey Turnpike. But, alas, her car, a 1789 Dodge Windstar, encountered difficulties. Feelings hit her like a windsock swinging as the wind changed from North-East to North-West were she to have been standing North of the windsock’s axis of rotation. She knew the legend of the New Jersey Devil. She knew that, unless she was a questing paladin, this was the worst stretch of highway for car trouble.
The New Jersey Devil, that giant beaked lizard whose gaze turns men to stone, inhabits the woods near the Jersey turnpike. And on this particular night intensity and raw palpability of emotion swirled together to form a vortex of terror that matched the Perfect Storm made famous in a movie with George Clooney and based on a book by Sebastian Junger who studied at Wesleyan University. As you, gentle reader, sit in your armchair stroking a mink or marmoset or ferret or other exotic animal with your hot chocolate or mulled wine in front of a fire, you cannot possibly imagine the trepidation and apprehension being pumped through her circulatory system, which was known to circulate fluids but not yet emotions through the human body centuries before the birth of God.
And her car did break down. A blown gasket, a missing catalytic converter—stolen and sold, and a scuffed hubcap reduced her car to Flinstonian levels of utility. As she had suspected in the deepest ventricles or atria of her heart, that great nexus of the circulatory system, the Devil emerged from the woods. Unlike the lizard she had heard tales of, this Devil looked like a giant, cloven man with blood dripping from its mouth. If the face provides a window to the soul, the Devil’s eyes gave Michelle Spurlock porthole-like fenestra to view the infernos of Hell.
But then something happened. The Devil spoke to her and told her she misunderstood it. That even though it was a terrifying beast, it had emotions and an interesting circulatory system that provided oxygen to even its most remote extremities, one of which it was right now pumping blood into in order to in anticipation of—based on Michelle Spurlock’s visual response to its advances—making the beast with two backs if you know what I’m saying.
So that great cloven beast humped Michelle Spurlock in the woods, where she eventually wound up living. Of course this shows that when two cultures collide, unlike the Native Americans who were wiped out by disease and booze when Columbo arrived with automatic weapons, occasionally love wins.
>>>
----
Beth -
I think we misunderstood each other. I was looking for sports writers, with the New Jersey Devils hockey team being one of the teams to cover.
With that being said, I did enjoy your short draft of a story about the New Jersey Devil. I can't do anything with that since my website is a sports blog. You do write very well and would love to read more of your stories.
Sorry about the miscommunication.
----
Okay I didn't even realize that there was a hockey team bearing that name. Would you like me to write a story about them for your blog?
----
Beth -
Not sure how you would write a story about them if you don't know anything about the team.
Mind me asking how old you are? Where you are from? stuff like that.
----
G______:
I am capable of rabidly researching any topic to become acquainted with its obvious subtleties. Should I begin work on this team?
I'm 23 years old and living in the ______ ______, which is a rock throw from New Jersey.
Beth
----
Beth -
I would prefer someone that is a fan of the team and has inside knowledge of it. Thank you for your interest however.
----
G______:
What if I could write about an interview with one of the stars of the New Jersey Devils?
Beth
----
What do you mean? How would you interview one of them?
----
Getting the interview is my task. Would you like a story featuring such an interview?
----
If you can honestly get an interview with a New Jersey Devils player, I would be happy to feature it on my site.
----
Okay, I'll take that as a 'yes' and get right to work.
----
Beth, just out of curiosity....do you have a picture of yourself that I can see?
----
I'll send a picture along with the story.
----
ok
----
G______:
I enclosed the first part of the story. I'll send the next as soon as I can depending on how tomorrow goes.
Cheers, Beth
<<<
The Ilya Kovalchuk Story Part 1: Getting the Interview, Breeching the Whale
by Beth M______
Today I created a false virtual identity on the internet, the world’s most famous e-platform, to dupe a hockey star into granting me an interview. I had been assigned the task of getting an interview with one of the New Jersey Devils to secure a paid position with the elite _______ sports blog. With this assignment, I wanted to impress. I wanted to land the biggest fish they have: Ilya Kovalchuk, a God-like killing machine who inflicts mortal wounds on his foes every time he laces his skates and steps on the hockey field.
Getting to Kovalchuk would not be easy. First, I crafted a twitter under the alias Michelle Spurlock. I requested to follow Kovalchuk. He added me within fifteen minutes. Now I know that he has hundreds of adoring fans, so to get a personal audience I would have to bring out the big guns. Not to worry—this was not my first rodeo or my first time using twitter to gain a personal audience with a minor celebrity.
I used my own picture for Michelle Spurlock’s profile because I wanted him to recognize me when we met in person. To ensure that I would catch this monster marlin, I baited the hook with a ménage a trois. And with my message enclosed a picture of reporter and hottie and subject of recent Jets controversy Ines Sainz. Later, I plan to argue that using a reporter’s image in the solicitation grants me license to publish anything he says at our meeting. Although the message is too salacious for the ________ sports blog’s gentle readers, the offer was clear enough: meet two women at a hotel for some drinks and good times.
As luck and its slow-mutant uncle fate would have it, Kovalchuk must have been online. He messaged back within twenty minutes and asked for more pictures. I found a few of Sainz and used a few of myself from a recent beach trip. He asked for one of us together and for some dirtier photographs. Although I spent half an hour on google images without employing its SafeSearch feature, I couldn’t find nude images of Sainz. But I sent him a few of myself to secure the meeting.
And just when I thought the cookie had crumbled into the shards of a mirror reflecting broken dreams, something happened in a major way. He sent me a time and a hotel name. The date loomed with raw, unchecked immediacy—it was the next day. The hotel, a Manhattan standard, was accessible and expensive.
But how would I prepare to meet this enormous tuna known as the Kovalchuk? Would he have the heart and backing circulatory system to hold up his word? And how would he react to Sainz not being there? Would he answer my questions? What would I wear? Would he take me to the hotel room when he found out that I was not Michelle Spurlock but a grit-toothed reporter on a mission to get a story?
>>>
*
G______:
I include the second part as well as a picture. This has been a great assignment. What should I work on next?
Beth
<<<
The Ilya Kovalchuk Story Part 2: Interviewing a Humungous Halibut
by Beth M______
With nerves aflutter and knees of butter, I waited in a massive hotel lobby to reel in a massive fish that I had caught on twitter. I waited to interview Ilya Kovalchuk, star of the New Jersey hockey team nicknamed the Devils.
My heart beat like a metronome, changing pace as the tides of my nerves rolled in and out and pumping blood through my circulatory system and hands and feet. I wondered if the star player would show up. I started to worry that maybe his twitter account was a fake and that the person who showed up would be some smelly dude or, worse, his wife. Or maybe that when he showed up he would leave when Ives Sainz wasn’t with me. Or he wouldn’t answer questions.
Seconds passed and became minutes, which passed to become hours. I ate two finger bowls of salty snacks and worked my way through two whiskey sours. I worried about my shirt and checked my makeup countless times. I worried and twice caught myself about to chew my nails. Finally I thought he wouldn’t show up and I almost left.
But then something happened like a wild lightning bolt striking a predator in a hurricane and leaving it in flames under the stars. Ninety minutes late, the fish walked out of the water and into the hotel lobby. Hot blood circulated through my system and I jumped up to meet him.
Ilya Kovalchuk stands six foot two and cuts an imposing figure even while trying to look anonymous. He wore a low hat and dark glasses with a loose jacket over brown pants. He asked me, “you Michelle?”
“If you want me to be,” I replied.
He asked if we should go up to the room. But I had not gotten one, so I stalled and asked him to buy me a drink first. Plus you would think he could afford the room—he makes six million dollars per year.
“Only have hour,” he said. I ignored him and ordered another whiskey sour.
“Where other girl?” he asked.
“She’s waiting up in the room,” I said.
When I asked about hockey about a dozen times, his longest reply was, “hockey good.” More often, he said nothing or grunted. After sitting for five minutes he stood up. I panicked, thinking that he would leave. But he walked over to a corner and pulled down his pants. I started to walk over to him, but he sat on the edge of a large potted plant. He concentrated and farted. I watched as furrowed his brow, looked at the ground, and crapped into the plant.
After he finished without applying standard bathroom-cleanliness procedures, he said, “go room.” He grabbed my arm and pulled me to the elevator. A group of twenty kids wearing neon orange field-trip t-shirts and chaperoned by two exasperated and underpaid twentysomethings walked into the lobby. As we rode the elevator up to a floor that he chose, he stood against the glass facing the lobby.
And then something happened like a king winging a sabre at a Canadian senator wearing a blue jacket in the blues capital of the world and the canuck ducking. He was concentrating again and working with his pants. As we ascended, he exposed his shriveled pecker to the spellbound middle-school students sprinkled throughout the lobby. One pointed. A chaperone hung his head, shamed by his own failure to shield the kids from indecency. When the elevator stopped before our destination to allow other passengers, I ran.
I have not seen Ilya Kovalchuk, killing machine on the hockey field and mongoloid pervert off of it, since I fled that elevator.
>>>
----
Great story..love how you wrote it. Is that picture really of you? Or just the character in the story?
----
Yes that is me. If you like, I can also send the picture of Ines Sainz.
When do you intend to feature the story on your site? Maybe to coincide with the start of the season?
----
I will try to find an appropriate time to feature it.
Have to admit, I am curious what would have happened if you ended up in the room lol.
And no need for the Ines pics, I know what she looks like. Just wanted to know if that was truly you. Maybe I should ask for the same pics Ilya did lol
----
Laughing out loud -- I know what happens to girls when they send pics like that to popular bloggers.
----
Oh yea? Whats that?
----
I have enclosed the equivalent of 1010 words on the subject. 1011 if you count both sides of a contraction.
----
haha. Where do you live again?
----
I'm in _______. But close to NJ.
----
I am throwing around the idea of having a model for my site. Would you be interested?
----
I would like to have a few published stories under your belt first so that I would be assured that I'm being taken seriously.
car show
craigslist ad recruiting owners for a custom-car show
---
Hello:
I have built several interesting custom cars. What needs to be done in order to show them?
Cheers, Beth
----
Beth,
That's great news. We are trying to get as many car owners to come out as possible. I don't have the form written up yet but as soon as I do I will send it your way. It will be before the end of the week, I have a meeting with the corn maze owner tomorrow. There is no fees, each car owner will receive free admission into the corn maze and daytime events and receive a discount into the haunted events. I plan to have different artists, vendors, and bands to create a full day event.
We have tons of space to hold this event and if all goes as planned it should be a really great event and fun for all.
What kind of cars do you have?
I____
----
Dear I____,
I created one haunted car. This mystifying coupe drives itself at random. This may be perfect for your haunted event, or if we put some blades or something on the front it could terrify the children of the corn maze. Since this one uses proprietary knowledge, I cannot release it even to the highest bidder.
I also made dragon car that spits fire and belches smoke. This sleek, scaly green beast runs on pure diesel. And it is for sale! Maybe this vehicle could take the stage with one of the bands for a little extra publicity.
I'm finishing two others but that may not be done in time for your event. I'm excited about this and if all goes well it could truly be a day remembered by all!
Cheers, Beth
----
Beth,
Those sound amazing, I'd love to see some photos if you have some. Are these like art/sculpture cars?
----
These are actual cars.
The haunted car relies on an autonomous navigation system and has two kill switches. One shuts down the car and the other activates its berzerker mode. In the berzerker mode, the car becomes a spinning dervish of blades and projectiles that can stop a riot or disable a small group of mercenaries. Odin himself smiles as the haunted car proves itself in battle and the mode ends with the car exploding and going to Valhalla, the scraphall of victorious car combatants. We would have to take care to label the two kill switches, as it is difficult to distinguish between them and deactivating the car may become necessary if it is about to run someone down.
The dragon presents less danger, but still devastates a crowd in flammable and inflammable situations alike. This requires a driver and I would demand to be the one behind the wheel -- another driver might send 60-foot jets of flame into a school of children. But imagine the excitement and terror in the crowd as this great beast rears up on its hind wheels to fire those pillars of fire into the night sky!
I might finish one more in time for your show, but that one might scare people...
Looking forward to the event!
Beth
---
Hello:
I have built several interesting custom cars. What needs to be done in order to show them?
Cheers, Beth
----
Beth,
That's great news. We are trying to get as many car owners to come out as possible. I don't have the form written up yet but as soon as I do I will send it your way. It will be before the end of the week, I have a meeting with the corn maze owner tomorrow. There is no fees, each car owner will receive free admission into the corn maze and daytime events and receive a discount into the haunted events. I plan to have different artists, vendors, and bands to create a full day event.
We have tons of space to hold this event and if all goes as planned it should be a really great event and fun for all.
What kind of cars do you have?
I____
----
Dear I____,
I created one haunted car. This mystifying coupe drives itself at random. This may be perfect for your haunted event, or if we put some blades or something on the front it could terrify the children of the corn maze. Since this one uses proprietary knowledge, I cannot release it even to the highest bidder.
I also made dragon car that spits fire and belches smoke. This sleek, scaly green beast runs on pure diesel. And it is for sale! Maybe this vehicle could take the stage with one of the bands for a little extra publicity.
I'm finishing two others but that may not be done in time for your event. I'm excited about this and if all goes well it could truly be a day remembered by all!
Cheers, Beth
----
Beth,
Those sound amazing, I'd love to see some photos if you have some. Are these like art/sculpture cars?
----
These are actual cars.
The haunted car relies on an autonomous navigation system and has two kill switches. One shuts down the car and the other activates its berzerker mode. In the berzerker mode, the car becomes a spinning dervish of blades and projectiles that can stop a riot or disable a small group of mercenaries. Odin himself smiles as the haunted car proves itself in battle and the mode ends with the car exploding and going to Valhalla, the scraphall of victorious car combatants. We would have to take care to label the two kill switches, as it is difficult to distinguish between them and deactivating the car may become necessary if it is about to run someone down.
The dragon presents less danger, but still devastates a crowd in flammable and inflammable situations alike. This requires a driver and I would demand to be the one behind the wheel -- another driver might send 60-foot jets of flame into a school of children. But imagine the excitement and terror in the crowd as this great beast rears up on its hind wheels to fire those pillars of fire into the night sky!
I might finish one more in time for your show, but that one might scare people...
Looking forward to the event!
Beth
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
big paychecks
craigslist ad: Want Big Paychecks?
If your looking for some big pay checks then you must Check out
what my team can do for you
http://www. __________.com
----
Hello:
I like the idea of receiving big paychecks and using your system to become my own boss. Can this turn into a constant revenue stream?
Thanks, Beth
----
Hi Beth,
Thanks for the reply to my ad.
Thats what this opportunity is all about creating residual income so you only have to build
this business once and it will pay you for life.
Go to this website and watch the comp plan video:
http://www.__________.com
We are working on a new marketing system for our team that is coming out this week
that will make sales for you once a person opts in to your website.
When this is ready if a person goes to your site and doesn't join then
they really weren't looking serious anyway.
I was working 2 other businesses and dropped them both when I saw the 6 ways you can get paid.
Let me know if you have any questions,
F __________ B __________
----
B__________:
I watched part of the video and came away impressed. I like the idea of taking advantage of the energy economy to leverage a constant revenue stream while maintaining the independence afforded to one of high stature who works for herself. After watching the video, what is the next step? How do I become a leader of the team and a master of electricity?
Thanks, Beth
----
Hi Beth,
Thats great you just have to click on Join Now and become a consultant fill and once I get your information
I will send you our step by step guide and our marketing site.
Or you can contact me at:
Thanks and welcome to the team.
F __________ B __________
XXX-XXX-XXXX
__________@ __________.com
http://__________. __________.com
----
B__________:
The 'Join Now' in the message you sent was not a hotlink. I clicked on it several times and nothing happened. Perhaps I am doing something wrong?
Thanks, Beth
----
Hi Beth,
It might be the way it got sent through hotmail sometime
I run in to problems with that email server.
If you get a chance you can make a gmail email account it is very simple
and seems to always work.
Anyway these should work or just copy link and put in your browser.
http://www. __________. __________.com
http://www. __________.com
Hope this helps:
F __________
----
B__________:
Okay, I'll look at the 'gmail' site. That is the 'google' email site, correct? A friend of mine raves about their 'SafeSearch' feature, although he brags about hardly ever using it. You can't imagine some of the search terms he uses to find images!
Beth
----
Beth
Yeah its goggles mail I have a bunch of them and works great.
That's funny about your friend.
Did youy get to my website ok now?
F__________
----
B__________:
Do you know how many of them you're allowed to have?
I'm still looking through the google website but I'll let you know when I've signed up for your website.
Thanks, Beth
----
As many as you want I think. I know I have at least 10
----
You have ten email addresses? Lord! What do you use all of them for?
----
Sometimes when you sign up for systems you get a lot of junk emails so I set a new email address for each one. This way you don't get them all to you main address.
----
What do you mean by 'systems'?
----
By systems I mean sometimes I subscribe to email lists and they send me 20 emails a day all trying to sell sopmething
----
What manner of list do you subscribe to?
----
Hi Beth
I don't recall the exact names right now because over the years there was a lot of them.
Did you sign up yet because I didn't see you in my downline?
F__________
----
I haven't finished signing up yet. Your numerous email accounts inspired me to create a variety of identities. I may sign up for your program as 'Michelle Spurlock' but I'm not sure yet which one I will use. Once you've created a few good personalities it is hard to choose from among them.
----
What do you mean by different names you must use your real name to join. The email is just for the company and people to contact you.
----
Yes but if I create many names can't I easily achieve my goal of having multiple revenue streams?
~~~~
Hello:
I could not get the website https://__________.__________.com/NewRep.asp# to work. It kept saying that my credit-card number wouldn't work.
Michelle Spurlock
Spurlock Investments, LLC
----
I will take a look at it are you sure everything was filled out correctly.
F__________
----
I believe so?
----
Were you getting an error message or something?
*
I checked it out on my end and it seems to be working alright.
----
It said that the number I entered was not a valid credit-card number.
----
That's strange maybe try to x out of the site and try over and see what happens.
----
And re-enter all of my information again?
----
I would try that if it didn't go through.
*
Did you enter card number with dashes?
You have to just put numbers with no dashes -
----
I just put in numbers.
*
Well I'm about to go to bed. Maybe tomorrow I'll try again and if it doesn't work I'll just email you my information?
----
Ok you can do that and I will get it straighten out sorry about that.
Have a goodnight.
F__________
----
I tried it again and it didn't work. Should I send my information?
----
Yes and I can try it on my end I am out right now I will be back in about ten minutes and I will give it a try.
Thanks
F__________
*
Did you want to try and call support under the contact tab to see why your card is not working.
----
Name: Michelle Spurlock
Company: Spurlock Investments, LLC
Name on Paycard: Spurlock Investments
Phone Number (cell): XXX XXXXXXX
SSN: XXX-XX-XXXX
Email: __________.spurlock@gmail.com
Password: worldtakeover
Confirm Password: worldtakeover
Date of Birth: 09/19/1980
Secret Question: What High School did you attend?
Answer to Secret Question: Argus C. Hagglefaucet High
Replicated Site: spurlocknation
----
Is it ok to call you right now?
----
I prefer to accomplish this over the internet (simply: the 'net).
----
I just need more info:
What kind of card and the number also csv code on card?
And you billing address.
----
Oh I was just making those up.
----
I don't get what you are saying, you dont have a card?
----
No, I'm not even a real person. Remember?
If your looking for some big pay checks then you must Check out
what my team can do for you
http://www. __________.com
----
Hello:
I like the idea of receiving big paychecks and using your system to become my own boss. Can this turn into a constant revenue stream?
Thanks, Beth
----
Hi Beth,
Thanks for the reply to my ad.
Thats what this opportunity is all about creating residual income so you only have to build
this business once and it will pay you for life.
Go to this website and watch the comp plan video:
http://www.__________.com
We are working on a new marketing system for our team that is coming out this week
that will make sales for you once a person opts in to your website.
When this is ready if a person goes to your site and doesn't join then
they really weren't looking serious anyway.
I was working 2 other businesses and dropped them both when I saw the 6 ways you can get paid.
Let me know if you have any questions,
F __________ B __________
----
B__________:
I watched part of the video and came away impressed. I like the idea of taking advantage of the energy economy to leverage a constant revenue stream while maintaining the independence afforded to one of high stature who works for herself. After watching the video, what is the next step? How do I become a leader of the team and a master of electricity?
Thanks, Beth
----
Hi Beth,
Thats great you just have to click on Join Now and become a consultant fill and once I get your information
I will send you our step by step guide and our marketing site.
Or you can contact me at:
Thanks and welcome to the team.
F __________ B __________
XXX-XXX-XXXX
__________@ __________.com
http://__________. __________.com
----
B__________:
The 'Join Now' in the message you sent was not a hotlink. I clicked on it several times and nothing happened. Perhaps I am doing something wrong?
Thanks, Beth
----
Hi Beth,
It might be the way it got sent through hotmail sometime
I run in to problems with that email server.
If you get a chance you can make a gmail email account it is very simple
and seems to always work.
Anyway these should work or just copy link and put in your browser.
http://www. __________. __________.com
http://www. __________.com
Hope this helps:
F __________
----
B__________:
Okay, I'll look at the 'gmail' site. That is the 'google' email site, correct? A friend of mine raves about their 'SafeSearch' feature, although he brags about hardly ever using it. You can't imagine some of the search terms he uses to find images!
Beth
----
Beth
Yeah its goggles mail I have a bunch of them and works great.
That's funny about your friend.
Did youy get to my website ok now?
F__________
----
B__________:
Do you know how many of them you're allowed to have?
I'm still looking through the google website but I'll let you know when I've signed up for your website.
Thanks, Beth
----
As many as you want I think. I know I have at least 10
----
You have ten email addresses? Lord! What do you use all of them for?
----
Sometimes when you sign up for systems you get a lot of junk emails so I set a new email address for each one. This way you don't get them all to you main address.
----
What do you mean by 'systems'?
----
By systems I mean sometimes I subscribe to email lists and they send me 20 emails a day all trying to sell sopmething
----
What manner of list do you subscribe to?
----
Hi Beth
I don't recall the exact names right now because over the years there was a lot of them.
Did you sign up yet because I didn't see you in my downline?
F__________
----
I haven't finished signing up yet. Your numerous email accounts inspired me to create a variety of identities. I may sign up for your program as 'Michelle Spurlock' but I'm not sure yet which one I will use. Once you've created a few good personalities it is hard to choose from among them.
----
What do you mean by different names you must use your real name to join. The email is just for the company and people to contact you.
----
Yes but if I create many names can't I easily achieve my goal of having multiple revenue streams?
~~~~
Hello:
I could not get the website https://__________.__________.com/NewRep.asp# to work. It kept saying that my credit-card number wouldn't work.
Michelle Spurlock
Spurlock Investments, LLC
----
I will take a look at it are you sure everything was filled out correctly.
F__________
----
I believe so?
----
Were you getting an error message or something?
*
I checked it out on my end and it seems to be working alright.
----
It said that the number I entered was not a valid credit-card number.
----
That's strange maybe try to x out of the site and try over and see what happens.
----
And re-enter all of my information again?
----
I would try that if it didn't go through.
*
Did you enter card number with dashes?
You have to just put numbers with no dashes -
----
I just put in numbers.
*
Well I'm about to go to bed. Maybe tomorrow I'll try again and if it doesn't work I'll just email you my information?
----
Ok you can do that and I will get it straighten out sorry about that.
Have a goodnight.
F__________
----
I tried it again and it didn't work. Should I send my information?
----
Yes and I can try it on my end I am out right now I will be back in about ten minutes and I will give it a try.
Thanks
F__________
*
Did you want to try and call support under the contact tab to see why your card is not working.
----
Name: Michelle Spurlock
Company: Spurlock Investments, LLC
Name on Paycard: Spurlock Investments
Phone Number (cell): XXX XXXXXXX
SSN: XXX-XX-XXXX
Email: __________.spurlock@gmail.com
Password: worldtakeover
Confirm Password: worldtakeover
Date of Birth: 09/19/1980
Secret Question: What High School did you attend?
Answer to Secret Question: Argus C. Hagglefaucet High
Replicated Site: spurlocknation
----
Is it ok to call you right now?
----
I prefer to accomplish this over the internet (simply: the 'net).
----
I just need more info:
What kind of card and the number also csv code on card?
And you billing address.
----
Oh I was just making those up.
----
I don't get what you are saying, you dont have a card?
----
No, I'm not even a real person. Remember?
hunting
craigslist ad:
Good evening, I am looking for someone to allow me hunt on your property. I have been hunting for many years and respect owners rules. If you would allow me to hunt please contact me. Thank you
----
Hello:
We have a giant back yard that deer roam through all the time. If you want, you could shoot at them from our porch. We set a limit of 3 kills on a day though.
Cheers, Beth
----
Hi Beth,
Thanks for the response! I was waiting to get a lot of hate mail. We were wondering what town you live in? We would only be using our bows right now. Do you have any preferences or rules to go by? Also do you charge a fee to hunt on your property? Thanks, C________
----
C______:
We're out past H_________. Bows are fine and deer wander close enough for easy shots.
We keep a few rules for hunting from the porch. First, every time you miss a shot you must chug a beer. Second, if you miss the same animal twice you have to run a naked lap around the house. We like to keep it fun, so we don't allow assault-rifle hunting (you would not believe the guns some people show up with).
We never charge anyone, but expect hunters to bring more beer than they will drink while hunting so that the hosts can get a decent buzz. Next weekend we might do a salt lick in the backyard if that interests you.
Cheers, Beth
----
Beth:
I appreciate your response to my post. Unfortunately, we aren't really big on drinking, especially with hunting( I'm clutsy enough without influence). I think we'll pass on the offer but thank you and just to let you know (not being nasty by all means), if you were to tell the wrong person that you're putting out a salt lick to get the deer to come in, they might take it the wrong way and say it's illegal. Thank you very much and hope you have lots of fun with your visiting hunters.
----
C______:
We won't force you to drink if you don't want to. But we find that sometimes it lightens the mood and lubricates social interaction between strangers. Of course I was kidding about the salt lick! We do everything in a sporting way. Plus, so many deer come across our property it wouldn't matter. One visitor joked that if we wanted to be lazy we could just set up land mines in our yard and watch them destroy the deer that walked across while we sipped martinis. What do you think of that?
Also, if you don't want to drop in during the day, you might enjoy night hunting. Have you ever done that?
Cheers, Beth
Good evening, I am looking for someone to allow me hunt on your property. I have been hunting for many years and respect owners rules. If you would allow me to hunt please contact me. Thank you
----
Hello:
We have a giant back yard that deer roam through all the time. If you want, you could shoot at them from our porch. We set a limit of 3 kills on a day though.
Cheers, Beth
----
Hi Beth,
Thanks for the response! I was waiting to get a lot of hate mail. We were wondering what town you live in? We would only be using our bows right now. Do you have any preferences or rules to go by? Also do you charge a fee to hunt on your property? Thanks, C________
----
C______:
We're out past H_________. Bows are fine and deer wander close enough for easy shots.
We keep a few rules for hunting from the porch. First, every time you miss a shot you must chug a beer. Second, if you miss the same animal twice you have to run a naked lap around the house. We like to keep it fun, so we don't allow assault-rifle hunting (you would not believe the guns some people show up with).
We never charge anyone, but expect hunters to bring more beer than they will drink while hunting so that the hosts can get a decent buzz. Next weekend we might do a salt lick in the backyard if that interests you.
Cheers, Beth
----
Beth:
I appreciate your response to my post. Unfortunately, we aren't really big on drinking, especially with hunting( I'm clutsy enough without influence). I think we'll pass on the offer but thank you and just to let you know (not being nasty by all means), if you were to tell the wrong person that you're putting out a salt lick to get the deer to come in, they might take it the wrong way and say it's illegal. Thank you very much and hope you have lots of fun with your visiting hunters.
----
C______:
We won't force you to drink if you don't want to. But we find that sometimes it lightens the mood and lubricates social interaction between strangers. Of course I was kidding about the salt lick! We do everything in a sporting way. Plus, so many deer come across our property it wouldn't matter. One visitor joked that if we wanted to be lazy we could just set up land mines in our yard and watch them destroy the deer that walked across while we sipped martinis. What do you think of that?
Also, if you don't want to drop in during the day, you might enjoy night hunting. Have you ever done that?
Cheers, Beth
Sunday, September 19, 2010
catalytic converters
craigslist ad: Wanted - Catalytic Converters, Alum. Wheels, Car Batteries (E______/A______/M______)
WANTED : catalytic converters, aluminum wheels, starters & alternators, and car & truck batteries.
Competitive prices paid in cash... We offer free pickup in most areas.
Email for prices. If you have converters, please send picture of them if possible.
--When emailing, please include the quantity of items you have, and your location. --
Thank You!
----
Hello:
What price do you pay for catalytic converters? I believe that I have about 175 of them.
Thanks, Beth
----
There all different price, you have to know what they are off of. Where are you located? And would it be possible for you to give me a call.
Thanks,
J______
XXX-XXX-XXXX
----
J_____,
They have varied origin. I'm in the L_____ V_____. Do you want a picture of one of them? What is a typical range for catalytic converters?
Thanks, Beth
----
Yeah you can send pictures
----
I've enclosed a picture of one of them. I don't know much about the technology behind it.
----
Well to first off there not catalytic converters , there garage door openers.
----
You're telling me that I have 175 garage-door openers?
----
Yes
----
Do you buy garage-door openers?
----
No sorry
----
Wow somebody told me that they were catalytic converters. Is catalytic-converter trade regulated?
----
Well the person who told you is wrong, a catalytic converter is part of the vehicles exhaust system. What you have is a garage door opener . Sorry to inform you of that
----
Do you have any idea for what to do with 175 garage-door openers?
----
We can pick them up , but there is a fee for removal / fuel charge
----
Wait so I would actually get charged to get rid of these?
----
Yeah our time and fuel is not free we have to make a living just like anyone else.
----
Do you need a garage-door opener for your home?
----
Nope
----
So you pay to pick up catalytic converters but you need to be paid to pick up garage-door openers?
----
Please find someone else to remove your metal , HAVE A NICE DAY!!!!!
----
Well I'm still hoping that I can get some catalytic converters to sell to you. Do you know a place to trade garage-door openers for catalytic converters?
WANTED : catalytic converters, aluminum wheels, starters & alternators, and car & truck batteries.
Competitive prices paid in cash... We offer free pickup in most areas.
Email for prices. If you have converters, please send picture of them if possible.
--When emailing, please include the quantity of items you have, and your location. --
Thank You!
----
Hello:
What price do you pay for catalytic converters? I believe that I have about 175 of them.
Thanks, Beth
----
There all different price, you have to know what they are off of. Where are you located? And would it be possible for you to give me a call.
Thanks,
J______
XXX-XXX-XXXX
----
J_____,
They have varied origin. I'm in the L_____ V_____. Do you want a picture of one of them? What is a typical range for catalytic converters?
Thanks, Beth
----
Yeah you can send pictures
----
I've enclosed a picture of one of them. I don't know much about the technology behind it.
----
Well to first off there not catalytic converters , there garage door openers.
----
You're telling me that I have 175 garage-door openers?
----
Yes
----
Do you buy garage-door openers?
----
No sorry
----
Wow somebody told me that they were catalytic converters. Is catalytic-converter trade regulated?
----
Well the person who told you is wrong, a catalytic converter is part of the vehicles exhaust system. What you have is a garage door opener . Sorry to inform you of that
----
Do you have any idea for what to do with 175 garage-door openers?
----
We can pick them up , but there is a fee for removal / fuel charge
----
Wait so I would actually get charged to get rid of these?
----
Yeah our time and fuel is not free we have to make a living just like anyone else.
----
Do you need a garage-door opener for your home?
----
Nope
----
So you pay to pick up catalytic converters but you need to be paid to pick up garage-door openers?
----
Please find someone else to remove your metal , HAVE A NICE DAY!!!!!
----
Well I'm still hoping that I can get some catalytic converters to sell to you. Do you know a place to trade garage-door openers for catalytic converters?
Saturday, September 18, 2010
the will, part 1
craigslist ad for catering
----
A______:
We have a funeral-type thing that we need to serve sushi at. But the circumstances are a little strange. Do you work with this kind of situation?
Thanks, Beth
----
Yes....I do Memorial Services!
*
When do you need this?
----
A______:
This is a memorial for a dead man. We want to get him into the ground before there are any surprises, so this would need to happen in the next few days.
Thanks, Beth
----
Hi Beth,
What would you like at the services??
Let me know,
A______
----
We need some sushi. But it doesn't have to be great. Due to the stipulations of the will, I doubt anyone will eat it.
----
That is all you want??
How many people??
What day??
I can do a combination of rolls and sashimi.
Let me know,
A______
______ Catering
XXX-XXX-XXXX (cell)
*
Hi Beth,
Best thing is to give me a call...if you get my voicemail, please leave a message.
My phone does not always ring??
Thank you,
A______
______ Catering
www.______.biz
----
Sorry I haven't been in touch. Things have really gone South here?
Beth
----
No problem!
Just let me know if you still need help?
Thank you,
A______
----
I'll stay in touch. We're still haggling over how much of the deceased's last requests we will conform to, and this determines whether we'll need the sushi. A lot of it depends on the will?
Thanks, Beth
----
Where is this going to be??
A______, B______, E______, W______, ??
----
Not sure yet. Truthfully, only about half of us want to bury him at all. He's left all these requests and stipulations and now we're finding out that there is less money than we originally thought. The sushi angle is weird but surmountable. Some of the other stuff is frightfully weird?
----
Well less money is better than no $$.
When the attorneys get done eating up their share and the inheritance tax alot of it goes away!!
My uncle that passed away Uncle Sam got over $100k and my mom is still paying gains from his stocks and bonds.
If you are not sure can you let me know if you are in the L______ ______??
Thank you,
A______
----
Well the deceased was a financial genius, so I doubt the government will get much of it. He was able to set everything up and structure it such that the money will avoid most taxes as it changes hands.
But he was also a very strange man. He set up a maze of challenges, terms, and conditions that must be met before the inheritances are disbursed. We're trying to see what legal means we have to avoid these. It would be nice if we could have him declared insane so that we don't have to carry out all these wishes.
Since his main home was in N______, we'll probably have the ceremony there if it can't be avoided?
Thanks, Beth
----
Well that is great that he is able to loophole and that is probably why you have so many challenges???
Thank you for letting me know destination because some people respond and don't even live in the area!
Well keep in touch,
A______
______ Catering
XXX-XXX-XXXX (cell)
----
It's great that he didn't lose any of the money to the government, but it will be for naught if we can't complete these challenges. If we fail the tasks, all the money would be disbursed to various charities. Right now it feels like we're playing 'Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego?'. Do you remember that game?
----
No I don't remember that game...what is one of the challenges??
----
As you know, the edutainment genre comprises varied computer games and other products that serve to entertain and educate. In 'Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego?', playents follow the trail of a fictional character, Carmen Sandiego, around the world learning about geography and culture. It's a ton of fun. Anyways, we have this cryptic note about the Shogun and we're supposed to find a puzzle piece related to it. My brothers have been in China for two weeks but it seems like a Shogun could have come from anywhere in China.
----
too funny so you are traveling all across the country to find pieces to the puzzle??
I hope that he left a nice little nest egg to do that!
----
Yeah it's ridiculous. I went to St. Louis for about five hours last week to uncover a clue. But it seems like we're getting close. It's frustrating. What if this is all an elaborate joke?
By the way, do you know if there is some type of salmon that don't swim upstream?
----
hmmm salmon that doesn't swim upstream??
one that is not horny!! lol....
That is what it says on google....
*
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Salmon
Here...these are all of your salmon out there!!
*
I went to a high school muscial called Lucky Stiff where the dead Uncle had the nephew going to Monte Carlo and all over, but the kid actually had to take his dead uncle in a wheelchair along with him!!
Then you tell me that you are going all over....that is great he must of had lots of money and he doesn't want to make it easy for anyone to get....figures he would put a little fun in it for you in his own little way??
Hey look at the bright side you will never forget him and you will have great conversation for years!!!
----
Yeah he's probably somewhere having fun with this. Actually we just had somewhat of a breakthrough in a Parisienne sewer and it looks like we might make it. But we're still stymied on the China front with the Shogun clue.
And I don't think we ever could forget him anyways. He accomplished many things, some wonderful and some despicable.
----
He is definitely having a good time with you!!
----
I'm sure the bastard is loving it. We're out traipsing through the sewers of a stinky-cheese-eating population while he's doubled over with laughter in a mortuary freezer. I maintain hope that we will get the money, it would be a travesty if it went to charity.
----
lol....love it!!! Would love to meet you in person you sound like a hoot....
Hey if you need another person I would be glad to join your voyage vs sitting inside all day in an office on the computer???
My daytime job I am the executive director for a non-profit organization that helps families that are losing their homes to foreclosure. Over 2 years ago I went nationwide....so I am busy, but would love to be busier. Unfortunately, with the lack of funds I am not able to publicly broadcast our services!
Trade you jobs??? Yours sounds like it will be more financially rewarding however, I know that I am doing a good deed & helping those in distress!!!!
Well keep me posted on when you would like me to help you out,
A______
www.______.biz
XXX-XXX-XXXX (cell)
----
Well, ours is an all-or-nothing proposition. I hold out hope that we will be rewarded.
If I send you a couple of images of what we have of the puzzle, would you be willing to tell me what you think?
Thanks, Beth
----
sure!
----
...
----
A______:
We have a funeral-type thing that we need to serve sushi at. But the circumstances are a little strange. Do you work with this kind of situation?
Thanks, Beth
----
Yes....I do Memorial Services!
*
When do you need this?
----
A______:
This is a memorial for a dead man. We want to get him into the ground before there are any surprises, so this would need to happen in the next few days.
Thanks, Beth
----
Hi Beth,
What would you like at the services??
Let me know,
A______
----
We need some sushi. But it doesn't have to be great. Due to the stipulations of the will, I doubt anyone will eat it.
----
That is all you want??
How many people??
What day??
I can do a combination of rolls and sashimi.
Let me know,
A______
______ Catering
XXX-XXX-XXXX (cell)
*
Hi Beth,
Best thing is to give me a call...if you get my voicemail, please leave a message.
My phone does not always ring??
Thank you,
A______
______ Catering
www.______.biz
----
Sorry I haven't been in touch. Things have really gone South here?
Beth
----
No problem!
Just let me know if you still need help?
Thank you,
A______
----
I'll stay in touch. We're still haggling over how much of the deceased's last requests we will conform to, and this determines whether we'll need the sushi. A lot of it depends on the will?
Thanks, Beth
----
Where is this going to be??
A______, B______, E______, W______, ??
----
Not sure yet. Truthfully, only about half of us want to bury him at all. He's left all these requests and stipulations and now we're finding out that there is less money than we originally thought. The sushi angle is weird but surmountable. Some of the other stuff is frightfully weird?
----
Well less money is better than no $$.
When the attorneys get done eating up their share and the inheritance tax alot of it goes away!!
My uncle that passed away Uncle Sam got over $100k and my mom is still paying gains from his stocks and bonds.
If you are not sure can you let me know if you are in the L______ ______??
Thank you,
A______
----
Well the deceased was a financial genius, so I doubt the government will get much of it. He was able to set everything up and structure it such that the money will avoid most taxes as it changes hands.
But he was also a very strange man. He set up a maze of challenges, terms, and conditions that must be met before the inheritances are disbursed. We're trying to see what legal means we have to avoid these. It would be nice if we could have him declared insane so that we don't have to carry out all these wishes.
Since his main home was in N______, we'll probably have the ceremony there if it can't be avoided?
Thanks, Beth
----
Well that is great that he is able to loophole and that is probably why you have so many challenges???
Thank you for letting me know destination because some people respond and don't even live in the area!
Well keep in touch,
A______
______ Catering
XXX-XXX-XXXX (cell)
----
It's great that he didn't lose any of the money to the government, but it will be for naught if we can't complete these challenges. If we fail the tasks, all the money would be disbursed to various charities. Right now it feels like we're playing 'Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego?'. Do you remember that game?
----
No I don't remember that game...what is one of the challenges??
----
As you know, the edutainment genre comprises varied computer games and other products that serve to entertain and educate. In 'Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego?', playents follow the trail of a fictional character, Carmen Sandiego, around the world learning about geography and culture. It's a ton of fun. Anyways, we have this cryptic note about the Shogun and we're supposed to find a puzzle piece related to it. My brothers have been in China for two weeks but it seems like a Shogun could have come from anywhere in China.
----
too funny so you are traveling all across the country to find pieces to the puzzle??
I hope that he left a nice little nest egg to do that!
----
Yeah it's ridiculous. I went to St. Louis for about five hours last week to uncover a clue. But it seems like we're getting close. It's frustrating. What if this is all an elaborate joke?
By the way, do you know if there is some type of salmon that don't swim upstream?
----
hmmm salmon that doesn't swim upstream??
one that is not horny!! lol....
That is what it says on google....
*
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Salmon
Here...these are all of your salmon out there!!
*
I went to a high school muscial called Lucky Stiff where the dead Uncle had the nephew going to Monte Carlo and all over, but the kid actually had to take his dead uncle in a wheelchair along with him!!
Then you tell me that you are going all over....that is great he must of had lots of money and he doesn't want to make it easy for anyone to get....figures he would put a little fun in it for you in his own little way??
Hey look at the bright side you will never forget him and you will have great conversation for years!!!
----
Yeah he's probably somewhere having fun with this. Actually we just had somewhat of a breakthrough in a Parisienne sewer and it looks like we might make it. But we're still stymied on the China front with the Shogun clue.
And I don't think we ever could forget him anyways. He accomplished many things, some wonderful and some despicable.
----
He is definitely having a good time with you!!
----
I'm sure the bastard is loving it. We're out traipsing through the sewers of a stinky-cheese-eating population while he's doubled over with laughter in a mortuary freezer. I maintain hope that we will get the money, it would be a travesty if it went to charity.
----
lol....love it!!! Would love to meet you in person you sound like a hoot....
Hey if you need another person I would be glad to join your voyage vs sitting inside all day in an office on the computer???
My daytime job I am the executive director for a non-profit organization that helps families that are losing their homes to foreclosure. Over 2 years ago I went nationwide....so I am busy, but would love to be busier. Unfortunately, with the lack of funds I am not able to publicly broadcast our services!
Trade you jobs??? Yours sounds like it will be more financially rewarding however, I know that I am doing a good deed & helping those in distress!!!!
Well keep me posted on when you would like me to help you out,
A______
www.______.biz
XXX-XXX-XXXX (cell)
----
Well, ours is an all-or-nothing proposition. I hold out hope that we will be rewarded.
If I send you a couple of images of what we have of the puzzle, would you be willing to tell me what you think?
Thanks, Beth
----
sure!
----
...
trolling motor
craigslist ad for trolling motor
----
Hello:
Is this the type of motor that one would attach to a boat? I'm pretty clueless about these things.
Thanks, Beth
----
It is indeed a boat motor.
----
How big of a boat will this support? Can it power a motorboat?
----
It's more for a canoe or a small bass boat.
----
A skiff?
----
Depending on the size of your skiff. But judging by the average skiff I'd say no.
----
How long is the average skiff?
----
Hello:
Is this the type of motor that one would attach to a boat? I'm pretty clueless about these things.
Thanks, Beth
----
It is indeed a boat motor.
----
How big of a boat will this support? Can it power a motorboat?
----
It's more for a canoe or a small bass boat.
----
A skiff?
----
Depending on the size of your skiff. But judging by the average skiff I'd say no.
----
How long is the average skiff?
Friday, August 20, 2010
religious book
craigslist ad: The Greatest Story Never Told
Why does every Christian devote his life to saving himself? They are so pent up in symbols, mystery, and prophecy, that they cannot see the gifts in front of them.
This is the story of the Holy Family, from the birth to the first Miracle. Not the usual fare mind you. It was a very scary and unusual time.
I am looking for information on how to present it to a publisher. There ae a lot of them on the net, that want you to pay them 3000 bucks up front, and then nickle and dime you after that. I do not mind working with a credible company, but I do not want to get ripped off . Call J___ G______ at XXX-XXX-XXXX
----
Dear Sir:
I am very interested in your story about the holy family shaving themselves. Can you tell me a bit more about it?
Thanks, Beth
----
What do you mean, shaving themselves???
I guess my story concerns the fact that, most Christians, and Christian speakers, are self centered. Looking to save themselves. And telling other people how to save themselves.
My story concerns the fact that while they are saving themselves, they are missing the real miracles we have going around us every day. In our families. Little treasures that God gives us to make life bearable. And to give us reassurance that life is worth it.
Who are you anyway?
----
Wow I must have misread it. I was in a holy-rapture-type state last night.
Anyways, this may be serendipitous. I like what you've written. Humility and awe about the world around us pervade your story and demonstrate the divine. But I think we can work in the shaving part also. Jesus is always depicted with a beard, but isn't he the ultimate family man? Can't we have a clean-cut inspiration for wholesome living?
Let me know what you think.
Sincerely, Beth
----
Again. Who are you, and how did you get a copy of my story?
----
I work for a consortium of Biblical investors called the Eleventh Commandment. We do a lot of indirect financing for Christian projects with an emphasis on entropic concerns.
Do you think that the shaving idea can be incorporated?
----
I think the shaving idea is ridiculous. MAYBE YOU WOULD LIKE TO HEAR OF Joseph shaving Mary’s pubes in the shape of a heart? Or maybe a cross? Would that be stupid enough for ya asshole?
----
Hmm, maybe you're right. I thought that there was an off chance that everyday things would make the family seem more real -- like something readers could relate to. I guess they don't have to be shaving themselves. Maybe you can think of a different way to accomplish a more visceral feel than what is currently on the market?
Did you read William Young's 'The Shack'? The novel takes liberties with scripture -- an Asian woman represents the 'Holy Spirit' -- but reached a broad audience and advanced the mission.
----
1. No one in the Holy Family would be shaving themselves. They were Jewish and shaving was prohibited. Which asks the question “ Why, as supposedly a biblical researcher, you didn’t know this. “ And I guess you’re on a mission to use at least one word you never used before for each of your responses. “ Visceral”. “Entropic.” ‘ Serendipitous.” Do me a favor. Delete me from your email list.
----
I apologize if I gave the impression of being a Biblical researcher. In fact I am not. But I've built my revenue stream by keeping an ear to the pulse of the blogosphere and an eye out for buzz. And religion has buzz right now -- consider the success of 'The Shack,' the resurgence of 'The Screwtape Letters,' and even the ascension of Eckhart Tolle (whatever you think of him). Even the atheist stuff sells. Twenty years ago, nobody would have been willing to be seen with a book called 'The God Delusion.'
All of these books have populist touches. Bits that humanize subjects (yes even Dawkins does this). I thought this was what you were going for also. Oh well.
----
No. I was not going for humanizing the Holy Family. It seems just strange to me that so many Christians are doting on their own “salvation”, that they fail to recognize, and appreciate, the people and things around them. As it was with Jesus. Let me give you the epilogue.
(encloses Chapter 18: Epilogue)
----
I believe that I understand where you are going with this. You're saying that other writers make this story important in order to say that because this family was concerned with human affairs, human affairs must be important. And so they concentrate on what will happen to people. You're trying to change perceptions, saying that this focus on people is selfish and putting the spotlight back on the miracles that occurred with the family.
This is a commendable quest. You're youthanizing the holy family -- putting them back in the picture as young people. Not stuffy, bearded stained-glass windows. In my opinion, you must emphasize the fact that out of all stories of all families, this story endured. Of all the lottery winners and two-time lottery winners, how many will we still be talking about two millenia hence?
----
What is it with you guys and miracles? There were no miracles in the Holy Family. NONE. No moving of mountains. No healing the sick. Just two young people, trying to figure out what to do, in an absolutely weird situation, and flying by the seats of their pants. BUT
These were the two young people whom God thought would do the best job. I emphasize Young.
(encloses Chapter 7)
----
Miracles speak to everyone. If Jesus were a mere man -- if his magick did not allow the trasmutation, the loaves and fishes -- would the story have stuck? I do agree with you about the pants part. This could be a point of emphasis (POE): like any parents, the Holy Family had no clue what they were doing. Like all parents today, although they did not have cars in Jesus's time that children could die in if locked in the car with the weather being too hot for too long. The Holy Family's parenting anxieties could sprinkle the story with the zest of uncertainty.
Have you read C.S. Lewis's 'Mere Christianity'? In parts, it can be construed as apologetic and he often resorts to argument by analogy. Do you think that this is dangerous in a religious book?
----
Jesus WAS a mere man. He didn’t even know when his ministry was supposed to start. If you remember, when Mary told him about the lack of wine the first time, he told her “ What am I to do about that woman? Keep a bunch of drunks drunk? It was second time she asked that caught His attention.
(encloses Sermon... unclear if this is part of the book)
----
It seems dangerous to argue that Jesus was a mere man. All Christians believe that God the Father's power exceeds Zeus's, even Zeus's power at the height of his rule. And Zeus's children, particularly Athena and Apollo, were even considered gods in their time. So to say that Jesus is a pure mortal man puts God the Father on tough ground if compared to Zeus, don't you think?
----
Zeus was ficticious. So there is no argument there. The danger comes in when one tries to put “God” In human terms. Such as a white haired old man on a throne. I can almost guarantee that is not the case. Christians even speak of God as in a gender form. Because that is all they understand. Does God have a gender? You might argue that Adam had a dick, so being he was made in the image and likeness of “ God”, God has a schlonger also.
Most of that Genesis stuff was a poor attempt by men to explain creation. And, really, whether or not God has a gender is pretty much irrelevant. And it is stupid to argue the point. Jesus was. By all accounts, a mortal man. Period. The crucible which held his consciousness in was flesh and blood. Period. Whether or not his “being” was supernatural is up in the air, and pretty much irrelevant. Unless your greedy, and want to save yourself from death.
What is relevant, as was in Genesis, was the “word”. Those things which came out of his mouth through his soul. Those things, the “physical”, are the things that have meaning. And have saving grace. To scream that Jesus was the “Son of God”, hoping for salvation in a bloody sacrifice, and not heeding those things which he physically gave to you ,in his word, is one of the most stupid and ridiculous Christian Characteristics I can think of. “ Invade Iraq”, and, “ do unto others”’ , cannot come out of the same heart.
SO lets make this easy. There definitely is a God. I know that for a fact. There is something out there. What , or who, it is I have no idea. And it is not important in the long run. Eternity is a very long run.
----
Have you given any thought to the cover of the book?
----
Yes. A hazy image of the Bethlehem Christmas Scene, manger and all, like the Christmas tree ornaments. With a large ,hazy, head of an angry Roman soldier in the background.
Or have the landscape reflect an evil, waiting to grasp out and clutch its captors. Why do you ask?
----
I like your ideas. However I've been doing some research and I believe I've unearthed an image that evokes both the majesty of the story and the playfulness necessary for a book to succeed in our market -- also it resonates in the crowd we're looking for. Also, I've put the image on an older-style book because I found that older texts dominate the religious-text market. I welcome your thoughts on the enclosed -- as both JPG and TIFF -- proposed cover design.
Yours, Beth
----
Your pretty good at photo shop. How are you at Blow Jobs? Do you swallow or spit.
----
I apologize that the cover-mock-up image isn't the highest quality. But once the project gets the green light (meaning: the 'go-ahead'), we'll have a full-time graphic artist mocking the book for you.
Why does every Christian devote his life to saving himself? They are so pent up in symbols, mystery, and prophecy, that they cannot see the gifts in front of them.
This is the story of the Holy Family, from the birth to the first Miracle. Not the usual fare mind you. It was a very scary and unusual time.
I am looking for information on how to present it to a publisher. There ae a lot of them on the net, that want you to pay them 3000 bucks up front, and then nickle and dime you after that. I do not mind working with a credible company, but I do not want to get ripped off . Call J___ G______ at XXX-XXX-XXXX
----
Dear Sir:
I am very interested in your story about the holy family shaving themselves. Can you tell me a bit more about it?
Thanks, Beth
----
What do you mean, shaving themselves???
I guess my story concerns the fact that, most Christians, and Christian speakers, are self centered. Looking to save themselves. And telling other people how to save themselves.
My story concerns the fact that while they are saving themselves, they are missing the real miracles we have going around us every day. In our families. Little treasures that God gives us to make life bearable. And to give us reassurance that life is worth it.
Who are you anyway?
----
Wow I must have misread it. I was in a holy-rapture-type state last night.
Anyways, this may be serendipitous. I like what you've written. Humility and awe about the world around us pervade your story and demonstrate the divine. But I think we can work in the shaving part also. Jesus is always depicted with a beard, but isn't he the ultimate family man? Can't we have a clean-cut inspiration for wholesome living?
Let me know what you think.
Sincerely, Beth
----
Again. Who are you, and how did you get a copy of my story?
----
I work for a consortium of Biblical investors called the Eleventh Commandment. We do a lot of indirect financing for Christian projects with an emphasis on entropic concerns.
Do you think that the shaving idea can be incorporated?
----
I think the shaving idea is ridiculous. MAYBE YOU WOULD LIKE TO HEAR OF Joseph shaving Mary’s pubes in the shape of a heart? Or maybe a cross? Would that be stupid enough for ya asshole?
----
Hmm, maybe you're right. I thought that there was an off chance that everyday things would make the family seem more real -- like something readers could relate to. I guess they don't have to be shaving themselves. Maybe you can think of a different way to accomplish a more visceral feel than what is currently on the market?
Did you read William Young's 'The Shack'? The novel takes liberties with scripture -- an Asian woman represents the 'Holy Spirit' -- but reached a broad audience and advanced the mission.
----
1. No one in the Holy Family would be shaving themselves. They were Jewish and shaving was prohibited. Which asks the question “ Why, as supposedly a biblical researcher, you didn’t know this. “ And I guess you’re on a mission to use at least one word you never used before for each of your responses. “ Visceral”. “Entropic.” ‘ Serendipitous.” Do me a favor. Delete me from your email list.
----
I apologize if I gave the impression of being a Biblical researcher. In fact I am not. But I've built my revenue stream by keeping an ear to the pulse of the blogosphere and an eye out for buzz. And religion has buzz right now -- consider the success of 'The Shack,' the resurgence of 'The Screwtape Letters,' and even the ascension of Eckhart Tolle (whatever you think of him). Even the atheist stuff sells. Twenty years ago, nobody would have been willing to be seen with a book called 'The God Delusion.'
All of these books have populist touches. Bits that humanize subjects (yes even Dawkins does this). I thought this was what you were going for also. Oh well.
----
No. I was not going for humanizing the Holy Family. It seems just strange to me that so many Christians are doting on their own “salvation”, that they fail to recognize, and appreciate, the people and things around them. As it was with Jesus. Let me give you the epilogue.
(encloses Chapter 18: Epilogue)
----
I believe that I understand where you are going with this. You're saying that other writers make this story important in order to say that because this family was concerned with human affairs, human affairs must be important. And so they concentrate on what will happen to people. You're trying to change perceptions, saying that this focus on people is selfish and putting the spotlight back on the miracles that occurred with the family.
This is a commendable quest. You're youthanizing the holy family -- putting them back in the picture as young people. Not stuffy, bearded stained-glass windows. In my opinion, you must emphasize the fact that out of all stories of all families, this story endured. Of all the lottery winners and two-time lottery winners, how many will we still be talking about two millenia hence?
----
What is it with you guys and miracles? There were no miracles in the Holy Family. NONE. No moving of mountains. No healing the sick. Just two young people, trying to figure out what to do, in an absolutely weird situation, and flying by the seats of their pants. BUT
These were the two young people whom God thought would do the best job. I emphasize Young.
(encloses Chapter 7)
----
Miracles speak to everyone. If Jesus were a mere man -- if his magick did not allow the trasmutation, the loaves and fishes -- would the story have stuck? I do agree with you about the pants part. This could be a point of emphasis (POE): like any parents, the Holy Family had no clue what they were doing. Like all parents today, although they did not have cars in Jesus's time that children could die in if locked in the car with the weather being too hot for too long. The Holy Family's parenting anxieties could sprinkle the story with the zest of uncertainty.
Have you read C.S. Lewis's 'Mere Christianity'? In parts, it can be construed as apologetic and he often resorts to argument by analogy. Do you think that this is dangerous in a religious book?
----
Jesus WAS a mere man. He didn’t even know when his ministry was supposed to start. If you remember, when Mary told him about the lack of wine the first time, he told her “ What am I to do about that woman? Keep a bunch of drunks drunk? It was second time she asked that caught His attention.
(encloses Sermon... unclear if this is part of the book)
----
It seems dangerous to argue that Jesus was a mere man. All Christians believe that God the Father's power exceeds Zeus's, even Zeus's power at the height of his rule. And Zeus's children, particularly Athena and Apollo, were even considered gods in their time. So to say that Jesus is a pure mortal man puts God the Father on tough ground if compared to Zeus, don't you think?
----
Zeus was ficticious. So there is no argument there. The danger comes in when one tries to put “God” In human terms. Such as a white haired old man on a throne. I can almost guarantee that is not the case. Christians even speak of God as in a gender form. Because that is all they understand. Does God have a gender? You might argue that Adam had a dick, so being he was made in the image and likeness of “ God”, God has a schlonger also.
Most of that Genesis stuff was a poor attempt by men to explain creation. And, really, whether or not God has a gender is pretty much irrelevant. And it is stupid to argue the point. Jesus was. By all accounts, a mortal man. Period. The crucible which held his consciousness in was flesh and blood. Period. Whether or not his “being” was supernatural is up in the air, and pretty much irrelevant. Unless your greedy, and want to save yourself from death.
What is relevant, as was in Genesis, was the “word”. Those things which came out of his mouth through his soul. Those things, the “physical”, are the things that have meaning. And have saving grace. To scream that Jesus was the “Son of God”, hoping for salvation in a bloody sacrifice, and not heeding those things which he physically gave to you ,in his word, is one of the most stupid and ridiculous Christian Characteristics I can think of. “ Invade Iraq”, and, “ do unto others”’ , cannot come out of the same heart.
SO lets make this easy. There definitely is a God. I know that for a fact. There is something out there. What , or who, it is I have no idea. And it is not important in the long run. Eternity is a very long run.
----
Have you given any thought to the cover of the book?
----
Yes. A hazy image of the Bethlehem Christmas Scene, manger and all, like the Christmas tree ornaments. With a large ,hazy, head of an angry Roman soldier in the background.
Or have the landscape reflect an evil, waiting to grasp out and clutch its captors. Why do you ask?
----
I like your ideas. However I've been doing some research and I believe I've unearthed an image that evokes both the majesty of the story and the playfulness necessary for a book to succeed in our market -- also it resonates in the crowd we're looking for. Also, I've put the image on an older-style book because I found that older texts dominate the religious-text market. I welcome your thoughts on the enclosed -- as both JPG and TIFF -- proposed cover design.
Yours, Beth
----
Your pretty good at photo shop. How are you at Blow Jobs? Do you swallow or spit.
----
I apologize that the cover-mock-up image isn't the highest quality. But once the project gets the green light (meaning: the 'go-ahead'), we'll have a full-time graphic artist mocking the book for you.
Monday, August 16, 2010
nude maid
craigslist ad looking for nude maid
----
Hello:
I'm wondering how much you're willing to pay for the nude-maid position.
Thanks, Beth
----
Hi Beth I really don't know we can discuss it I'm sure we will come up with something to make you happy. Where are you from? Tell me about you? Thanks G____ PS my #1-XXX-XXX-XXXX if you'd like to talk
----
I came over from Eastern Europe seven years ago. After cleaning home for two years, I saved up enough money to start, with some financing, my own business.
I hired cleaners from Mexico, cleaners from Russia, and cleaners from Korea. All sorts of cleaners of different ethnicity who have come to America. I bought supplies and took out several ads for my company, 'Ethnic Cleansing.' But customers didn't come. And now I am stuck paying back the bank.
What is your story?
Cheers, Beth
----
I'm just a single older male nudist that needs a maid how old are you Where are you from? Send a pic? G____
----
G____,
You've probably never heard of my country of origin. Azerbaijan?
So you're looking for a nude maid for just cleaning?
Beth
----
Yes just cleaning unless we become interested in eachother
----
Hmm. Are you naked all the time?
----
Usually lets swap pics?
*
Heres my mugshot G____
----
Do you know how big the market is for this? Do you think a company called 'Nude Ethnic Cleansing,' which sends naked cleaners from different cultures, could work?
----
I don't know but I bet it would work! Are you interested in doing mine?
*
Send a pic?
----
I've enclosed a pic of my proposed ad. I'm a little reluctant to put this ad into the YellowPages without some feedback after I sunk so much money into the original business. What do you think?
Thanks, Beth
----
Well it looks great and I think it will work.
But I wanted a pic of you and do you want to do me ?
----
I'm not sure what sort of role playing I'll do in this business. I'd like to administrate the business and help girls new to the USA -- who are willing to get down on all fours and clean -- get a leg up on owning their own business.
----
Hello:
I'm wondering how much you're willing to pay for the nude-maid position.
Thanks, Beth
----
Hi Beth I really don't know we can discuss it I'm sure we will come up with something to make you happy. Where are you from? Tell me about you? Thanks G____ PS my #1-XXX-XXX-XXXX if you'd like to talk
----
I came over from Eastern Europe seven years ago. After cleaning home for two years, I saved up enough money to start, with some financing, my own business.
I hired cleaners from Mexico, cleaners from Russia, and cleaners from Korea. All sorts of cleaners of different ethnicity who have come to America. I bought supplies and took out several ads for my company, 'Ethnic Cleansing.' But customers didn't come. And now I am stuck paying back the bank.
What is your story?
Cheers, Beth
----
I'm just a single older male nudist that needs a maid how old are you Where are you from? Send a pic? G____
----
G____,
You've probably never heard of my country of origin. Azerbaijan?
So you're looking for a nude maid for just cleaning?
Beth
----
Yes just cleaning unless we become interested in eachother
----
Hmm. Are you naked all the time?
----
Usually lets swap pics?
*
Heres my mugshot G____
----
Do you know how big the market is for this? Do you think a company called 'Nude Ethnic Cleansing,' which sends naked cleaners from different cultures, could work?
----
I don't know but I bet it would work! Are you interested in doing mine?
*
Send a pic?
----
I've enclosed a pic of my proposed ad. I'm a little reluctant to put this ad into the YellowPages without some feedback after I sunk so much money into the original business. What do you think?
Thanks, Beth
----
Well it looks great and I think it will work.
But I wanted a pic of you and do you want to do me ?
----
I'm not sure what sort of role playing I'll do in this business. I'd like to administrate the business and help girls new to the USA -- who are willing to get down on all fours and clean -- get a leg up on owning their own business.
Friday, August 13, 2010
free tv
Craigslist Ad: Free TV, broken
----
Hello:
The image you've posted doesn't show the depth of the television. Is this a flat-screen television?
Thanks, Beth
----
no this is not a flat screen tv.
----
Hmm. Can it display HD channels?
----
not sure, probably not since it is older. i put the model of the tv on the ad so you can check into that yourself.
----
Do you know what channels it gets? I couldn't find this online.
----
the tv does not currently work, so you would have to get it fixed, but once fixed i would assume it gets all normal channels, but not HD
----
I saw that it doesn't currently work. Which of the channels are broken?
----
the whole tv doesn't work, i don't think it turns on.
----
Oh so it isn't just specific channels that are broken?
----
the tv does not work, it does not turn on, you will have to get it fixed, that is why it is free
----
Is it just the on switch that is broken? If the switch were working, would the TV work?
----
i don't know, it is my husbands tv. if you want it, let me know and then you can see for yourself.
----
Hmm. What channels did your husband watch on it?
----
sorry i just got rid of it, someone else wants it
----
Do you think they would consider selling the TV?
----
they might, you should ask
----
Can you forward them a message that I will pay $50 for the TV?
----
no sorry
----
Darn. You've lost their address? I've decided that I must have this television.
I'll pay you $5 if you can facilitate my purchase of the television for $100 from them.
----
Hello:
The image you've posted doesn't show the depth of the television. Is this a flat-screen television?
Thanks, Beth
----
no this is not a flat screen tv.
----
Hmm. Can it display HD channels?
----
not sure, probably not since it is older. i put the model of the tv on the ad so you can check into that yourself.
----
Do you know what channels it gets? I couldn't find this online.
----
the tv does not currently work, so you would have to get it fixed, but once fixed i would assume it gets all normal channels, but not HD
----
I saw that it doesn't currently work. Which of the channels are broken?
----
the whole tv doesn't work, i don't think it turns on.
----
Oh so it isn't just specific channels that are broken?
----
the tv does not work, it does not turn on, you will have to get it fixed, that is why it is free
----
Is it just the on switch that is broken? If the switch were working, would the TV work?
----
i don't know, it is my husbands tv. if you want it, let me know and then you can see for yourself.
----
Hmm. What channels did your husband watch on it?
----
sorry i just got rid of it, someone else wants it
----
Do you think they would consider selling the TV?
----
they might, you should ask
----
Can you forward them a message that I will pay $50 for the TV?
----
no sorry
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Darn. You've lost their address? I've decided that I must have this television.
I'll pay you $5 if you can facilitate my purchase of the television for $100 from them.
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