Why does every Christian devote his life to saving himself? They are so pent up in symbols, mystery, and prophecy, that they cannot see the gifts in front of them.
This is the story of the Holy Family, from the birth to the first Miracle. Not the usual fare mind you. It was a very scary and unusual time.
I am looking for information on how to present it to a publisher. There ae a lot of them on the net, that want you to pay them 3000 bucks up front, and then nickle and dime you after that. I do not mind working with a credible company, but I do not want to get ripped off . Call J___ G______ at XXX-XXX-XXXX
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Dear Sir:
I am very interested in your story about the holy family shaving themselves. Can you tell me a bit more about it?
Thanks, Beth
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What do you mean, shaving themselves???
I guess my story concerns the fact that, most Christians, and Christian speakers, are self centered. Looking to save themselves. And telling other people how to save themselves.
My story concerns the fact that while they are saving themselves, they are missing the real miracles we have going around us every day. In our families. Little treasures that God gives us to make life bearable. And to give us reassurance that life is worth it.
Who are you anyway?
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Wow I must have misread it. I was in a holy-rapture-type state last night.
Anyways, this may be serendipitous. I like what you've written. Humility and awe about the world around us pervade your story and demonstrate the divine. But I think we can work in the shaving part also. Jesus is always depicted with a beard, but isn't he the ultimate family man? Can't we have a clean-cut inspiration for wholesome living?
Let me know what you think.
Sincerely, Beth
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Again. Who are you, and how did you get a copy of my story?
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I work for a consortium of Biblical investors called the Eleventh Commandment. We do a lot of indirect financing for Christian projects with an emphasis on entropic concerns.
Do you think that the shaving idea can be incorporated?
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I think the shaving idea is ridiculous. MAYBE YOU WOULD LIKE TO HEAR OF Joseph shaving Mary’s pubes in the shape of a heart? Or maybe a cross? Would that be stupid enough for ya asshole?
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Hmm, maybe you're right. I thought that there was an off chance that everyday things would make the family seem more real -- like something readers could relate to. I guess they don't have to be shaving themselves. Maybe you can think of a different way to accomplish a more visceral feel than what is currently on the market?
Did you read William Young's 'The Shack'? The novel takes liberties with scripture -- an Asian woman represents the 'Holy Spirit' -- but reached a broad audience and advanced the mission.
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1. No one in the Holy Family would be shaving themselves. They were Jewish and shaving was prohibited. Which asks the question “ Why, as supposedly a biblical researcher, you didn’t know this. “ And I guess you’re on a mission to use at least one word you never used before for each of your responses. “ Visceral”. “Entropic.” ‘ Serendipitous.” Do me a favor. Delete me from your email list.
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I apologize if I gave the impression of being a Biblical researcher. In fact I am not. But I've built my revenue stream by keeping an ear to the pulse of the blogosphere and an eye out for buzz. And religion has buzz right now -- consider the success of 'The Shack,' the resurgence of 'The Screwtape Letters,' and even the ascension of Eckhart Tolle (whatever you think of him). Even the atheist stuff sells. Twenty years ago, nobody would have been willing to be seen with a book called 'The God Delusion.'
All of these books have populist touches. Bits that humanize subjects (yes even Dawkins does this). I thought this was what you were going for also. Oh well.
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No. I was not going for humanizing the Holy Family. It seems just strange to me that so many Christians are doting on their own “salvation”, that they fail to recognize, and appreciate, the people and things around them. As it was with Jesus. Let me give you the epilogue.
(encloses Chapter 18: Epilogue)
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I believe that I understand where you are going with this. You're saying that other writers make this story important in order to say that because this family was concerned with human affairs, human affairs must be important. And so they concentrate on what will happen to people. You're trying to change perceptions, saying that this focus on people is selfish and putting the spotlight back on the miracles that occurred with the family.
This is a commendable quest. You're youthanizing the holy family -- putting them back in the picture as young people. Not stuffy, bearded stained-glass windows. In my opinion, you must emphasize the fact that out of all stories of all families, this story endured. Of all the lottery winners and two-time lottery winners, how many will we still be talking about two millenia hence?
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What is it with you guys and miracles? There were no miracles in the Holy Family. NONE. No moving of mountains. No healing the sick. Just two young people, trying to figure out what to do, in an absolutely weird situation, and flying by the seats of their pants. BUT
These were the two young people whom God thought would do the best job. I emphasize Young.
(encloses Chapter 7)
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Miracles speak to everyone. If Jesus were a mere man -- if his magick did not allow the trasmutation, the loaves and fishes -- would the story have stuck? I do agree with you about the pants part. This could be a point of emphasis (POE): like any parents, the Holy Family had no clue what they were doing. Like all parents today, although they did not have cars in Jesus's time that children could die in if locked in the car with the weather being too hot for too long. The Holy Family's parenting anxieties could sprinkle the story with the zest of uncertainty.
Have you read C.S. Lewis's 'Mere Christianity'? In parts, it can be construed as apologetic and he often resorts to argument by analogy. Do you think that this is dangerous in a religious book?
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Jesus WAS a mere man. He didn’t even know when his ministry was supposed to start. If you remember, when Mary told him about the lack of wine the first time, he told her “ What am I to do about that woman? Keep a bunch of drunks drunk? It was second time she asked that caught His attention.
(encloses Sermon... unclear if this is part of the book)
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It seems dangerous to argue that Jesus was a mere man. All Christians believe that God the Father's power exceeds Zeus's, even Zeus's power at the height of his rule. And Zeus's children, particularly Athena and Apollo, were even considered gods in their time. So to say that Jesus is a pure mortal man puts God the Father on tough ground if compared to Zeus, don't you think?
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Zeus was ficticious. So there is no argument there. The danger comes in when one tries to put “God” In human terms. Such as a white haired old man on a throne. I can almost guarantee that is not the case. Christians even speak of God as in a gender form. Because that is all they understand. Does God have a gender? You might argue that Adam had a dick, so being he was made in the image and likeness of “ God”, God has a schlonger also.
Most of that Genesis stuff was a poor attempt by men to explain creation. And, really, whether or not God has a gender is pretty much irrelevant. And it is stupid to argue the point. Jesus was. By all accounts, a mortal man. Period. The crucible which held his consciousness in was flesh and blood. Period. Whether or not his “being” was supernatural is up in the air, and pretty much irrelevant. Unless your greedy, and want to save yourself from death.
What is relevant, as was in Genesis, was the “word”. Those things which came out of his mouth through his soul. Those things, the “physical”, are the things that have meaning. And have saving grace. To scream that Jesus was the “Son of God”, hoping for salvation in a bloody sacrifice, and not heeding those things which he physically gave to you ,in his word, is one of the most stupid and ridiculous Christian Characteristics I can think of. “ Invade Iraq”, and, “ do unto others”’ , cannot come out of the same heart.
SO lets make this easy. There definitely is a God. I know that for a fact. There is something out there. What , or who, it is I have no idea. And it is not important in the long run. Eternity is a very long run.
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Have you given any thought to the cover of the book?
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Yes. A hazy image of the Bethlehem Christmas Scene, manger and all, like the Christmas tree ornaments. With a large ,hazy, head of an angry Roman soldier in the background.
Or have the landscape reflect an evil, waiting to grasp out and clutch its captors. Why do you ask?
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I like your ideas. However I've been doing some research and I believe I've unearthed an image that evokes both the majesty of the story and the playfulness necessary for a book to succeed in our market -- also it resonates in the crowd we're looking for. Also, I've put the image on an older-style book because I found that older texts dominate the religious-text market. I welcome your thoughts on the enclosed -- as both JPG and TIFF -- proposed cover design.
Yours, Beth
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Your pretty good at photo shop. How are you at Blow Jobs? Do you swallow or spit.
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I apologize that the cover-mock-up image isn't the highest quality. But once the project gets the green light (meaning: the 'go-ahead'), we'll have a full-time graphic artist mocking the book for you.
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